Buy The Desk

Buy the desk.

Invest in yourself. 

One of the most common questions I get asked in emails, DM's and in person, is people coming from a place of feeling like they are not worthy to spend the time, the energy, and the money on themselves and their talents. I have been reading, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. I highly recommend this book as it really breaks down this concept to a deep and applicable way. I can't tell you how many messages I get saying, "But I'm not sure if I should invest in this" or "I just don't know if I will ever be good enough" or "there is so much uncertainty in pursuing art, how did you do it?" It can be a lot to take in, and feel that energy coming at my constantly. So that is why I try hard to make these posts about how I can be truly honest, open and share with you my struggles and successes.

One of the greatest myths is that successful artist's never sucked, or fell flat on their faces. That their talent took them to the top, and that people feel from the gate that they can't be as talented as their idols so why even try? I am pretty sure that every successful artist had to overcome their own personal roadblocks, feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. And probably got a whole lot of nos, rejections and failures to boot. I'm here to tell you, from the little I have learned, and all the other talented artist's I have talked to, we all had those hurdles. Especially in the beginning. And we still have those hurdles. So why not run the race with me? Why not invest in yourself and fail today, in order to be successful tomorrow? 

My 1st art desk. And my simple, affordable supplies. It felt like the start of something special for me. 

One of the 1st paintings I made on my desk, It's A Black and White World. A few months later, it was published in ELLE Brazil. 

A few years ago, when I first started to get back into creating (read the last post for further insight into my creative story) I was a bit uncertain of what would come of all the time, passion, sweat and even tears I was putting into my work. But I LOVED every second of what I was doing. So I was okay at that point of just striving to get better at my craft. (And I still am-it's okay if I make a million things that people don't care about, I care about it and that's enough). I was beginning to get steady sales in my Etsy shop. It was really allowing me to feel a small pat on my back-like people were enjoying what I was doing. I was doing it all on a shoe string budget. I had not bought anything much-I was checking out books from the library and using very basic materials that were super affordable. 

I went the local art supply store and kept seeing an art desk. It was nothing fancy. But it had a lamp, storage, and a chair. And I had never owned an art desk. Which now I look back and think is so silly. I thought about that desk. I thought about how I could sit down and create on it, and maybe fulfill my life long dream someday of illustrating for magazines, books and brands. And I also thought, "Maybe I don't deserve this. Maybe I'll buy the desk and no one will ever buy a painting from me and I'll feel like a loser for even thinking I could be an artist". These were my real thoughts. Can you relate? Then the other side of my brain said, "Buy the desk. Buy the desk, make the work. People will support you and you will fufill your dreams. This will be the start. Buy the desk". 

So after a few weeks of deliberating, I bought the desk. And let me tell you, that small investment I made for myself, and my talent, was definitely the start of moving in a direction of saying, "Yes, I am worthy. Yes, I deserve this. Yes, I can make great things sitting at this desk". 

So, I'll keep this post short. Buy the desk! Or whatever it is, that you know is a part of your creativity flourishing more. You are worthy of it. Work hard, do what you love, this is your life and you deserve to invest in yourself.

Seeing my map, I worked on in my humble nook of the world, be published in ELLE Brazil was a dream come true. I even had a friend translate it for me! 

I painted a series of city skylines at my desk, and a few months later QVC used them on their coverage of NY Fashion week online, and on their TV channel. 

My desk evolved with me and my career. It continued to gain more paint stains. I feel centered when I sit and create.