Hang Tight

Wow, it’s been a minute since I have had time to sit down, and feel in the right headspace to write a blog post.

2020. The year that has felt like whiplash. A year where I hope a more united front as well as more empathy and love will be felt worldwide. It is a year and a time none of us will ever forget. I have trusted the whole time, that during this period of struggle, heartache, grieving, uncertainty, and fear would also provide us with changes that we have inevitably needed for quite a long time. Changes that will make us more loving, patient, and grateful. It is often only when things are taken away from us, that we see how blessed we have been. The universal gratitude and awareness of being present is a huge gift. And for those who are able to have spent more time with loved ones, it’s easy to see that that time may never be given to us again.

Stay Home, mixed media on canvas paper.

I spent most of the quarantine balancing being active, meditating, chatting with friends and trying to be productive on personal artwork that I felt inspired to do. As well as teaching a free online workshop. I had hopes I could do some good with this time to spread more of the creativity of healing into the lives of those who were searching for it. I also had freelance commercial work. It was a bit harder to be inspired on that front, as everything was so up in the air constantly. And I was seeing that the constant work work work attitude would push me to burn out faster if I was not careful. I think as an artist so often when I am truly inspired I play off that high energy, or the rich, emotions I am feeling and I get the paint out and go for it. And when I am not inspired I do my best to step away and take a nap, go for a walk or take a long bubble bath.

Self Isolation, mixed media on canvas paper.

Even with all that balance I was trying to have it seemed inevitable that working for 3 months without any real vacation or excuse to take a solid break and put boundaries in place would catch up to me. And let’s face it I have been working non-stop for over a year with little to no vacation except the holiday season. So these last few weeks I have made a concerted effort to sleep in a little later, take naps, go on longer walks and lay out in the park. Just do things that I know give me time and space to be quiet and heal.

It seems as though the energy in the world is overall very sad, and lost. And rightfully so. My heart aches for those who are hurting. It’s hard because I am not one to take in every energy I see as I am a HUGE EMPATH so I have had to create my own force field of energy. To keep me centered and able to help others through my art and my character.

All that being said, we are all doing our best to make sense of this. Whether you have found yourself depleted of energy and not able to get out of bed, or you are being super productive and creative…we all understand. And I think everyone has done a really good job of getting through this. Progress is being made. People are using their voice and platforms more than ever. I will always choose to focus on the good. Because it feels better for my mental health, and I prefer to be hopeful and do what I can to share the best art I can to help myself heal, as well as others.

Below are some of the artworks I have created during this time. It started with a self-isolation series, to then me longing for summery days at the beach, to now more African American inspired artworks. My art has always been like an open diary and reflects my mood or current experience. And I think now, I have an audience that understands that more than ever, and for that I am GRATEFUL.

Sunshine on my Shoulders, mixed media on paper.

Sunshine Ahead, mixed media on canvas paper.

Contemplating Summer, mixed media on canvas paper.

Hang Tight, mixed media on canvas paper.

Swimming in Serenity, mixed media on canvas paper.

Beach Bumming, mixed media on canvas paper.

All Wrapped Up, mixed media on canvas paper.

Looking for Hope, mixed media on canvas paper.

Exciting Updates for 2020

I don’t know about you but 2019 ended so quickly, and 2020 for me has felt much busier than I had anticipated. I’ve been recharging the last few days and it feels timely to share some exciting updates for the year with you all.

1. At the end of 2020 I had the remarkable experience of meeting an idol of mine, Sara Blakely as I was given the opportunity to live illustrate at the Spanx’s holiday party. (That deserves a post in its own right). But in a nutshell…it felt like an out of body experience for me. And the next week I found out I won the Spanx’s Illuminate Her Art contest!! Meaning, my art will be going onto Spanx products in Fall 2020!! Crazy, right?! I am so so thrilled, and cannot wait to share with you all what we are creating together later this year. I am constantly inspired by Sara’s Self-Made, Female-Empowering mission. If you have not listened to her talk about her journey to create Spanx-on the podcast, How I Built This by Guy Raz-do yourself a favor and give it a listen. You will get goosebumps!! When I met Sara, she was filming a story of me painting-so I’m still trying to wrap my head around that moment. I was just a girl who wanted to be an illustrator-and everyday I try to remind others that we all start from zero. And it’s our passion, dedication and self-belief that gets us to see dreams play out like this.

   I am grateful that Spanx will be shedding a light on what I am doing with my art but more importantly the message of motivation, self-love and positivity I am trying to put out in the world. I have been sharing more motivational blurbs on my IG (very stream of consciousness for me) and the reaction I am getting is INCREDIBLE. So be on the lookout for more. As I feel, this is a huge part of the next chapter of my career. Helping others see they are worthy of their dreams. And I thank Spanx for bringing this incredible energy and “illumination” to the work I am dedicated to.

2. I finished illustrating a book, that I am so excited about! It will be debuting in the Fall as well!! I can’t reveal much-but I will say it’s all about Parisian style-one of my favorite subjects!! I cannot wait for this book to hit shelves and share it with you. It has been an incredible experience and felt like the most natural fit.

3. I also have created a special design for Talbots scarves, coming to stores this Fall! I love what we made, and it will be so fun to see my art on a silk scarf! :)

The Power I found in Meditation in 2019 & My tips on practicing Meditation

2019 was a crazy year for me. I honestly don’t remember much of what happened before April.

The start of April was when I went to the hospital and spent the next 4 weeks in and out of the hospital as they ran numerous tests before finding a tumor in my small intestines. It felt almost as if, the surgery date became my own new start to the year. Day 1. April 29th, 2019. A new day, of not knowing what would come after. Acceptance. Waiting to find out if I had cancer or not. That is an indescribable place to be. And then finding out I had a clean bill of health, the surge of gratitude and relief that pumps through your blood is unlike anything else I have felt. It’s a lot to process, and often it can make you want to isolate yourself from others feeling as though they may not understand the trauma you have just lived through.

Luckily, I was born with a mind that always sees the glass half full. But I would also describe myself as an realistic optimist. And I knew moving forward throughout the rest of 2019 would be about learning how to manage anxiety, stress and balancing work in a way that would not set me back. To me, I knew that what mattered more than anything else was feeling good in my body and mind. Finding peace in my daily life. So a lot of 2019 was about really delving into meditation practices. Meditation got me through the times when I was awaiting pathology results. Meditation got me through the dark moments of life in and outside of the hospital. The rest of the year, I was ready to slowly but surely find a way to paint the visuals I would use in meditation.

Let me break it down in simple terms for those who feel they do not understand meditation, or don’t think it will work for them because they don’t know how to quiet their mind or sit still. There is no specific way to practice meditation. So don’t box yourself into thinking it’s just you sitting there for 30 minutes and not allowed to think about anything. For me, I have found that although meditation does require you to be still it doesn’t have to be this rigid, torturous thing. It can be one of the most relaxing things you can do. And in fact, whenever I have done it I almost didn’t want to break from it, because it began to feel like I was in another realm full of peace, safety, acceptance and love. Meditation can truly get you into a deeper sense of yourself and your connection to a higher power. Whatever that power may be, that is for you and you alone to decide.

Here is how I have started to implement meditation into my life. Maybe it will help you. I find that after a yoga session is a great time to transition to it. Or after a heartfelt prayer, a long walk outside, a hot bath or writing in my journal. Meaning, it’s a good idea to have a relaxing, peaceful exercise to already slow down your heart rate and allow you to transition to a peaceful meditation.

Then create a very comfortable and serene ambiance. Light a few candles, put on a soft, quiet playlist with meditation music playlist (youtube has very specific ones you can listen to for hours that I like) Try to keep the light warm, and soft. Wear very soft, comfortable clothes-nothing too close to your body that feels restrictive. The goal is to act like you’re walking into your own spa! It truly can feel like a form of self-care like no other. Then lay flat on the ground preferably with your favorite pillow. Then spend a few minutes taking in deep, slow breaths. Don’t rush this part. Focus on the fact that you are breathing and it feels good to you. Every breath you take in, let it fill your body with good, healthy thoughts. And each exhale, let any negative stress or tension be released with it. Notice where you are holding tension, and release it. I hold mine in my jaw, so I try to soften all the muscles there and release the clench I hold onto unintentionally.

My meditation became about visualizing my body being healthy. I would imagine flowers, in soft transparent colors floating inside my body and mind. I would think about them flourishing in the areas that now had scars. I would imagine the love that I felt from others in my life would come into my mind and body and recharge me in a way that other things could not. From my head to toe I would scan my body and remind myself of every good thing each of my body parts has done and given to me abundantly. Fill your mind with gratitude for every area of your body that has served you well. Respect it. Thank it. Odds are your body has been good to you despite you occasionally mistreating it, or taking for granted for the miraculous machine it is in your life. And your body will take in what you feed it. Mentally more so than you can possibly fathom. So feed it with grateful, beautiful, positive thoughts.

I think the point is, there is no specific right or wrong way to meditate. It’s really about slowing down, and tuning into your body and spirit and letting go of your stress, anxiety and fears. It’s a time to be grateful. Even for something as small as breathing in and out. Even 10 minutes can feel amazing. (Think of all the wasted time we spend scrolling for 10 minutes or more, when we could be easily doing something better for our mental health.) And I love that you can truly do it any time of day or night. IT’S FREE for crying out loud! haha. Before bed or early morning are really great times to utilize it. And there are some guided meditations I found in Ask and it is Given, by Jerry & Esther Hicks that I love and would highly recommend. I found it has really help me combat bouts of PTSD. When I feel super stressed out, I will immediately drop everything I am doing, go on a walk without my phone and come back and do a yoga and mediation session. It just feels like a tool we can all step into more. Meditation feels like the exact type of healing I have been looking to have in my life. I of course love my Doctors, and doing ALL THE THINGS to keep me balanced and healthy. But I had no idea how much meditation would become a part of my life and make me feel so much more peace and gratitude. Being grateful even when I was sick, was hard but when I got to that headspace my life became infinitely better.

Sending you the best wishes to 2020! I hope this inspires you to take a few minutes and try it out for yourself. Would love to hear your feedback :)

My Simple Guide of Resources for Artist's

I have created this post in response to the numerous emails, DM’s and questions I get on a regular basis. In fact, I want my entire blog to be a resource for creatives and I hope you can utilize and feel inspired and empowered by what I share in this space.

1. One of the most common questions I get is how I have been able to have monetary success with my artwork. I have written a few posts on this very subject. Read this post on my Etsy shop success:

http://jessicadurrant.com/blog/2019/3/18/from-1-etsy-shop-sale-to-10000-lets-talk-about-the-in-between

2. I offer mentoring to those who wish to have more personalized direction, guidance and advice. I have been using Rookie Up! as the platform to schedule and facilitate these sessions, and it’s truly been lovely to meet artist’s around the world! To book your own personalized mentoring session, click link below:

https://www.rookieup.com/jessicadurrant/

3. I get a lot of questions about how I can create full time. But I rarely get asked, how did I improve my art over the years? I think it is vital for artist’s to FOCUS ON THE ARTWORK. Then the money will come. I think so many get trapped in thinking about the money first. My philosophy is you must be in this to make great work. If you cannot live without creating, then you already are on the right path! Because no matter the hardships, you still NEED TO CREATE. So take a look at this other blog post I wrote about how I got into a rhythm of creating non-stop to improve my skills and my work.

http://jessicadurrant.com/blog/2019/2/26/my-practical-advice-for-creative-dreamers

4. And please, please please READ THIS BOOK! The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a life changing book for any person, and especially any creative dreamer. This is the reason why I am successful, and work with the largest brands in the world. Positive thinking, daily affirmations and visualizations are what I practice daily to manifest my dreams. Here is a link for the book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/0143129252/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1Q8EQP96M5Z70&keywords=the+artist+way+by+julia+cameron&qid=1565270996&s=gateway&sprefix=the+artist%2Caps%2C184&sr=8-2

5. I was recently interviewed for a podcast with Let’s Highlight Real. The whole podcast is perfect for creatives. The podcast interviews professionals who talk about the ups, downs and failures & successes in such a down to earth, relaxed and touching way. Podcasts in my opinion are such an amazing resource, and they are FREE! So no excuses, go listen to a slew of these. Mine is episode 3:

https://www.letshighlightreal.com/2019/04/01/episode-03-how-to-push-and-evolve-your-style-with-jessica-durrant/

6. I have been working on my own art book, full of the inspiring stories behind my favorite art pieces over the last decade. The 100 limited edition books have sold out, but I am working on making a PDF version in September and a 2nd edition next year. For many of you, you have already seen the sneak peeks of the book on my Instagram. I cannot wait to have these books shipped out this month! If you would like to be included in the next edition, or want a PDF version please fill out a contact form right here on the website :)

7. If you are an illustrator or want to become one, there is a guidebook for pricing jobs, quoting, and contracts. This is an amazing tool! Purchase the latest edition on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Graphic-Artists-Guild-Handbook-Guidelines/dp/1507206682/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=illustrators+guide+to+ethical+pricing&qid=1565271556&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Thank you for all your support! I hope these resources will help you, and perhaps shed some light and inspire you in new ways!

xo

Jess

From my Tumor to an Artist in Residency in Bermuda

The last time I wrote a blog post, everything in my life changed. And quite quickly.

It was just another normal morning for me, but I remember feeling like I needed to take the week off. I had just finished teaching a successful workshop that weekend and I gave so much energy to it. I am an empath, meaning I can easily feel, read and absorb other people’s emotions. I am trying to get better about handling it, although it is something I feel more and more the older I get. I have a tendency to attract people who need to be uplifted and loved, and I feel it is a huge gift for me when I am able to give words of encouragement to those that I meet.

Bermuda Heals. A new watercolor study from yesterday.

Needless to say, I knew I needed to take a break. I had just had some incredible things happening with my work. (See last post) But basically the artwork at IKEA had already broke the records in 2 quarters for the sales we predicted for the entire year. I was also preparing for an artist in residency in Bermuda for the end of the next month with Hamilton Princess, and my artwork would be in June’s British Vogue and I was literally finalizing the proof they wrote about me that morning. I almost felt…like I could not process all of it.

It was around 12:30 in the afternoon when everything changed. I went to the bathroom and saw that I had passed blood. I didn’t want to freak out, but I knew what it meant. As some of you know, in 2016 I suffered a blood clot in my lungs as well as a GI bleed that we never really found out the direct cause of. So I instantly was transported back to a very scary time in my life. I wanted to remain calm and not assume the worst. But somehow what I have learned in these experiences is…there is a difference between anxiety and really knowing when something is wrong. You usually know it in your gut. And for me…that is how I literally felt. I knew it was going to take time to find out what was wrong even before the 1st test. I had to go in knowing, that whatever was coming my way I was prepared for. And accepting this whole experience would make my life easier.

I’ll spare you a long lengthy story, and pretty dark details here, but we went to the ER and I proceeded to lose about half my blood in the space of 24 hours while we awaited various test results. Test after test, day after day I was so blessed to have the support of Brandon, my in-laws, Michelle Armas my best friend here in Georgia, and so many countless others who sent me messages from near and far. My Instagram is like my family, so feeling that rally of support was so vital for me. I received 3 blood transfusions, but I knew I still had lost a lot of energy that I would need to gain back at home in time. Finally some results came in through a pill cam test, they spotted a “nodule” in my small intestines and some ulcers. They needed to biopsy the nodule so I had to schedule that out for about a week away. I went home, still at risk to bleed at any time. So what did I do….I watched about 3 seasons of Golden Girls, ate what the doctors suggested and did a little bit of walking everyday to rebuild the energy I lost from being in the hospital and becoming anemic.

Being at home, not knowing if you have something very seriously wrong with you, is one of the hardest places to be. You live in your head, and it can take you to dark places. The easiest thing for me to do was to take a deep breath, and say “You are OKAY RIGHT NOW. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Right now you are healthy enough to walk, talk, eat, laugh and be still.” I began implementing some seriously deep meditation and healing mantras into my routine. I purposely didn’t paint, as I didn’t want to do anything that might make me feel critical of myself. I needed to only let in GOODNESS and LIGHT. I was working on being very very gentle and kind to myself. Soon enough I had another test to get that biopsy, and when I awoke the Dr. told me it was a tumor the size of a golf ball and they did not biopsy it because it could likely start bleeding again if they did.

I screen-capped so many messages from people around the world who were sending me SO MUCH LOVE and healing vibes. THANK YOU!

The Dr. immediately recommended me to a surgeon who specializes in minimally invasive surgeries for my situation. 2 days later I was seeing Dr. Thomas Wood and he immediately made me feel relief. He seemed so confident, direct and made me feel at ease. He suspected that what I had was a GIST. And that we needed to get it out quickly and biopsy the lymph-nodes around it. He told me if it was cancer, the cancer in this situation is very rare, and that there are now pills that liquify tumors in the small intestines. It was a lot to take in. And it was so hard to wait. I prayed that they could get me in ASAP for the surgery. And they did! Monday morning 7:30AM and I WAS READY TO ROLL!!

Started some sketches before the trip.

I had a comfortable weekend at home before the surgery, and had to once again focus on the fact that I wasn’t bleeding and I was okay now. I surrendered to it all…I thought about every outcome and I accepted it. And let me tell you…that is no easy feat. But my personality has always been that way. I trusted that this experience was here to teach me something. To guide me down a new road. That perhaps I needed this to show me, once again, that life is fragile and I know I am here to do great, beautiful things. And every day should be one that I focus on putting goodness and love out there. I also focused on the fact that for 37 years 98% of the time I have been here, in this body I have been heathy and pain free. And I knew my body was ready to fight for me. I knew it wanted to heal quickly. It was here to show me something.

Surgery was successful, but we still had to wait 4 loooong days while I was under close watch at the hospital to find out my results. Oddly enough, I felt calm. Because I knew the tumor was gone. And I knew that I was in GOOD HANDS. From family, doctors, nurses, even the food service ladies who I bonded with…all made me feel like I was going to be okay. Thursday morning my Dr. came in and told me that none of the lymph nodes had cancer in them. And he told me, what I had is so rare that it’s like getting struck by lightning and it’s not genetic either. He told me I should expect to be back to normal in a couple weeks, and that I should be fine to travel to Bermuda. I’m going to follow up with my blood specialist, and GI doctors to make sure that I am on top of my health. Because of my last incident, I learned so much about my blood and my body that I felt empowered going into this situation. So I know now, it’s my responsibility to continue to take the time to be on top of regular visits, and continuing to find peace in the now.

I came home, and it felt like a miracle. Every day I could walk a little more. Every day I felt more energy coming to me. I also lost weight and was happy to get to eat 2 hamburgers in one day on brioche buns babyyyyy!! Everyday I felt less pain. And every day I felt so much closer to my God, my family, my friends and my SPIRIT. I’m still wrapping my head around this. I know I will suffer from bouts of PTSD from this. And it’s okay. Meditating and creating healthy mind set mantras that connect me to my inner most self have brought me so much comfort.

I set my screensaver at the hospital to a photo just like this of Bermuda. Then I took this one myself and have already used it for paintings. I focused so hard on being on those pink sand beaches and feeling healthy!

And then came Bermuda….we left exactly 3 weeks after my surgery. A 2.5 hour flight and we had made to to PARADISE!!! I want to create a separate post about it all. But for now, I’ll share some photos. Thank you to Hamilton Princess for giving me this gift. I trusted the timing in all this. That is exactly what I needed to experience play by play. Thank you to Madison for booking and hosting us! And thank you to an organization that INVESTS in artist’s. I felt pampered. Truly! And being near those healing ocean waters was the BEST THING EVER! I also got to teach a watercolor class at a local middle school. And one student in particular really touched my heart. Destiny suffers from hand tremors and she was afraid to paint because she thought it would be messy. As I reached over to help guide her hands, I told her, “You can paint outside the lines and make drips and splatters because I do it all the time! It makes it beautiful!” She proceeded to get the biggest smile on her face and told me how much she loved her painting and gave me numerous hugs. THAT MOMENT WAS WORTH THE ENTIRE TRIP TO BERMUDA!!

Sweetest Destiny, I will never forget that small and powerful moment we shared.

I could go on and on, but let’s leave it at that for now. My blog is truly here as an open diary and it’s far from perfect but it’s my truth. And I hope in sharing this with you you feel uplifted and peaceful. I can’t wait to create artwork based off all these experiences. I’m grateful for it all. The tumor. The scary moments. Because without those moments maybe I would not be as thankful for the light, grace and goodness and mercy God and everyone here has given me. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Bermuda Flowers added to represent healing that happening inside my core.

I could have sat here all day!

Our 1st day at Hamilton Princess!

Lookout Point, one of my favorite spots.

I hand painted Bermuda flowers on one of the coffee cups at the hotel :)

My painting desk on our balcony at the hotel!

Embracing my body after surgery!

I’ll never forget these last few months.

6 Exciting Announcements

It feels like I have so much good news to share, my little heart could burst!!! Everything is beginning to feel quite surreal for me lately. And I cannot believe some of the things I am typing are really happening!!

1. I can now officially announce that my artwork is in IKEA globally for sale! This is the 1st of 2 pieces that IKEA has picked up for sale for the next 5 years :) The 2nd piece will be debuting in the Summer of 2019 and I will announce that one at that time. And the sales are already doing amazingly well for my 1st piece and surpassing market predictions! I have definitely been doing lots of happy dances around our home. Here is the link to the US website with the artwork in it’s 2 pack: https://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70438106/

My painting, Blue Girl comes in a 2 pack with another artist, Susan Kane’s work. Don’t they look so moody and sophisticated together?

2. My work will be published in British Vogue this Summer!!! Coming June, July and August 2019 I will have my artwork in the magazine of all magazines for me! I cannot wait to get my hands on an issue. This is a HUGE dream of mine-to have my work in a magazine that has allowed me to dream since the day I picked up my first copy at 13. More on that to come!!

3. I will be doing an artist in residency program next month, in Bermuda!!! Coming late May, I’ll be traveling to Bermuda for the dreamiest artist in residency program, with Hamilton Princess! More details to come next month. I CANNOT WAIT.

Blue Girl, one of my personal favorite paintings now in IKEA!! I have a great story about getting my work into IKEA and this painting. It will be shared in my upcoming book!!

4. I’m currently creating my Art Coffee Table Book!! I had so much great feedback and interest when I talked about this dream of mine on Instagram last year. SO NOW IS THE TIME. I feel so inspired and ready to make my dream book a reality. I am creating a book full of my favorite paintings, and the inspiring stories behind them. There will be only 100 limited edition copies made. If you want to be on the wait list, please email me at jessillustration@gmail.com The Books will be shipping this Summer-and each one will be signed, numbered and dated. I believe so strongly in this book, so thank you for those who have already reserved their copy. It means the world to me.

5. And I’m still soooooo thankful to see my work in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 2. I keep watching the Paris episodes that my work is in…and just crying in happiness. You can find out more about that-in a previous blog post: http://jessicadurrant.com/blog/2018/12/18/the-marvelous-art-of-being-you

It kinda feels amazing to write down what I am thankful for. It is a great reminder for me to live and revel in the present!! And I encourage you to do the same. Remember what you now have-was more than likely what you dreamed about a few years ago. And just live in this sweet moment of thankfulness. It feels so darn good to do that.

6.Also, if you haven’t listened to the new podcast for creatives, Highlight Real, do so! My episode, is the 3rd one and you can give it a listen here for more of my story and what keeps me inspired and resilient:

https://www.letshighlightreal.com/2019/04/01/episode-03-how-to-push-and-evolve-your-style-with-jessica-durrant/

Please let me know what you think of the podcast, and subscribe to the podcast!!

Sending you all my best from Atlanta xox

From 1 Etsy shop sale to 10,000. Let's talk about the in between.

The in-between. The gap. The part no one really talks about a whole lot. The hard part. The learning curve. The trial and error. The mistakes. The setbacks. The failures. The days where you question yourself to no end. Those times when you feel overwhelmed with discouragement and just want to give up.

I’ve probably felt that way about 2,347,895 times in my daily journey to fulfilling my dreams. I don’t think you ever reach a point in your career or life where you feel like it can’t all just be taken away from you. That’s living with vulnerability and it’s hard.

I have days where I feel on top of the world! Where I feel so excited, so confident so full of energy with my artwork. Then I have days where I question it all. And I just feel like a stinky turd! haha.

One of last year’s best selling prints in my shop, Southern State of Mind.

The days where I hear, “We’ve decided to go in another direction” or “We don’t have a budget for artist work” or “They went with another artist.” Those days can be quite hard for me.

That is what I call the in-between days. The days where it goes from you having motivation, dreams, goals… and then boom you get hit with a tough rejection on a job you wanted, or a freelance project turns sour, or you aren’t landing work. And it feels so isolating and easy to feel like it’s time to just call it quits and go find a safe, secure, steady line of work. I didn’t get to the other side of my dreams without countless in-between days. I try really hard to share those days with my followers on Instagram. To be open about maybe I felt sad on this day because I didn’t get a job I really wanted. And it made me question, “Am I fooling myself with thinking I deserve a place there?”

For every in-between day I know it will be followed by a day of break throughs. Of hopeful opportunities and excitement. I work hard knowing, that my dreams are big and so the times when I am faced with adversity and resistance are just testing me to see how bad I want it. How much I am willing to believe in my self and stay dedicated to the path I am on? I’ve found out I am a lot stronger than I ever thought I was.

My World Maps became my best sellers for years in my shop.

My 1st Etsy shop sale was a break through for me. I made $20 selling a sketch. I know, $20. But that $20 at that point in time felt like a $1000. When you are an artist you are told your whole life, you’ll be starving, you’ll never amount to any success and even if you do it will be long after you are dead. Nice messages to hear constantly right? And yet somehow, that never stopped me from wanting to be an artist. In fact, I knew I would be one. That has been such a guide to me my whole life. Not listening to others and staying true to my convictions.

Simplicity, a brand new print in my shop that is quickly gaining popularity. I love having new work do well. It encourages me all the time.

I had a slow, sales the first year or two in my Etsy shop. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. And my life was constantly changing as I moved states and was in a bad place in my relationship at that time. Slowly I started to devote more time to my creativity. I saw it as a gift to myself. That I was doing something that I knew, I would regret not giving my full attention and passion to. I remember coming home after shipping a few orders and thinking, “I wonder if I started shipping many orders everyday?” It was like this glimmer of hope in my mind. I was flirting with the possibilities of what could go right in my life.

It wasn’t too long after that that I was shipping multiple orders daily. In 2012 when I sold more than 6 figures income of artwork…I knew in my bones that my life was changing. I didn’t even realize how much money I was making. I was just happy to be creating and shipping. Then I saw the stats in my shop and was blown away. It was an omen. I felt extremely hopeful. And then the beginning 2013 I got a divorce. So as my career skyrocketed, my decade long relationship failed. It had been a long time coming, so I was grateful that I could lean on my art to not only help me emotionally express myself at that time but to monetarily pay for a life on my own for the first time.

My shop has evolved. Some years I haven’t been as fully devoted to it, because much of my career the last 5 years has been about illustrating for branding & editorial work. Stuff that I have always dreamed about doing. It’s challenging and demanding work, but it has allowed me to grow profoundly. Balancing my shop sales with licensing, and freelance work has been my day-to-day life as an illustrator and I love it. I am learning to slowly let go of trying to do it all, as I am now working with an agency to help with all the day-to-day stuff I don’t want to handle anymore.

But at the end of the day, my shop is what grounds me. Every small sale has lead to bigger things happening. Each person who purchases and leaves a note, or tells me they are loving a new series of work and can’t wait for it to enter my shop really allows me to feel at one with myself. I get to create what I want. No one tells me to change a damn thing. When I paint for myself, and share that work in my shop it ALWAYS has a positive effect on my life and the lives of others. My shop is about complete creative control and self expression. It’s opened more doors than I can even comprehend. It has been the platform for me that has truly changed the trajectory of my life. To reach 10,000 sales last week means more than I think I can process right now. I cannot thank everyone who has supported my shop all these years. You have no idea, what it means.

I hope you’ll see that I started from nothing. And I hope it will encourage you. I went from 0 sales to 10,000. And you can do anything you are fully passionate, and committed to. Remember that on the in-between days. Keep running your race. Stay in your lane, and embrace yourself. And enjoy it as much as possible.

Love,

Jess

Dear Wounded Artist

This is a letter I am writing to myself-in the perspective I have now to my young artist self. I learned this method in therapy and also from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. This practice does wonders. I hope that in reading this, you can also take the time to write to your wounded artist a letter.

Dear Wounded Artist,

At four years old there was nothing you loved more than drawing in a quiet, safe space. It brought a sense of knowing that not a lot of other things could. Because it allowed you to feel in touch with your inner most self. Your gifts brought you great joy and will continue to do so the rest of your life. They allowed you to dream, and think of a life outside the one you had. This time as a child was preparing you for the hardships you will undergo.

Life will not always be easy Jessica. In fact, your life will change constantly into your teens. Moving across the country 3 times in the space of 4 years will be extremely rough on you. . You will miss a lot of schooling because of the moves, and the loss of time in school and education will effect how you learn and what you retain. You won’t be the greatest test taker in the world, but that doesn’t mean you are not smart or gifted.

People will be mean to you and call you names. You will be made fun of for your weight. Kids will oink at you and call you fat. You will even hear it from your own family. I want you to know that you will grow up to forgive the people that will call you those words, however much they will hurt you. That will you grow up to be stronger because you have survived bullying and shaming. That it prepared you to learn how to love yourself no matter what you look like, what you do, or how well you do in school. That the toughest things we go through are truly what make us stronger, if we choose to let it. Jessica, your gift lies in you always seeking a silver lining. No one is as good at it as you. And you will learn that throughout your life. Over and over again.

When you are high school your art teacher will see the beauty in your gifts, and she will be a support you to continue working on your art. You will enter a national portfolio review and get a 2 out of 5. This will hurt you. But you must also remember that you have survived a lot of people’s labels that were untrue. You have not let past experiences harden your heart. And you will continue to have a strong heart and sense of self even when your high school times are hard on your spirit. I know you feel unnoticed by many. I know it hurts to not get asked to the prom or on a date. But you are still beautiful, and special and worthy of love.

Your 20s will be the hardest decade of your life. You will want to feel rooted, but you will move to 4 different states in different parts of the country. Each time saying goodbye to friends, family and people you will let into your heart. You will be in a relationship that will test your limits. You will be told to not dream big. You will be cheated on, see very dark things , and you will suffer a miscarriage. You won’t always know what to do. But you will make art. You will find a way for it to save you. To express your deepest emotions. And it will allow for doors to open, your heart to heal and it will offer you a way out of the your old life so that you can step into a new doorway and experience a new way of life with new people.

You will be told often by others that maybe your work is not good enough. Not original enough. Not strong enough. You will use the words to fuel you to be the best you can be. And you will be. Your work will allow for your wildest dreams to come to fruition. Each day you make the choice to be creative is a day you are quieting the negative voices. And you are being true to the little girl in her room, drawing and feeling at peace with her life.

You will continue to be tested for what want. Each time, you stay strong, love yourself and others will be a victory. Remember to love yourself like you would a dear friend or family member. Don’t let the voices of others define you. You can do anything you dare to dream of. Remember that Jessica.

Keep your heart strong as always, and remember to reach out to those in need. Your voice will help many. And they will find you through your work.

Lots of Love,

Jessica

Mind the Gap

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” 
― Ira Glass

This is a quote I share often with students, and budding creatives. And it’s one I want to expound upon a little more in depth. As when I often get asked, “how do you get big brands wanting to work with you” or “how can I make art and make a living doing it?” or “what is the best advice you can give me about pursuing a career in the arts?” I think so often of this quote. All of those are very valid questions…but ones that are hard to answer quite simply. This is one of the reasons I started my blog, I see it as a guide of inspiration that includes the tools and mantras I live by. Not just as an artist, but as a human. And one of the things I always answer to those questions is , “Well I got to work-I made a lot of crappy work in hopes that every once in a while-I could make something good. And then maybe once in a blue moon-something great! I painted 5 days a week if not more. I researched, I read , I absorbed the world around me as much as I could and tried to be as authentic to what I was feeling every time I sat down to paint. I painted when I was happy, I painted when I was sad, I painted when I felt angry or hopeless. I painted when I felt inspired by anything. I paint what I aspire to be hired for. I want to be so good, that my work cannot be ignored. I have faith that the work I do-although seems small on a daily basis and sometimes inconsequential is all heading me in the direction I want to be going. And it is allowing for growth, and for my work to evolve.”

I’ve decided to share side by side examples of the work I have done over the years below. To help you see why doing the work is important. I love looking back and seeing that I have improved. But I also try not to crap allover my past work. I had to DO it. I would not be where I am today, without all the work. Good or bad. It got me here and will continue to guide me.

I think it’s important to remember to focus on progress over perfection when it comes to your creative work. Many things I painted at the time, I felt happy with the progress I was gaining..even if I knew it wasn’t up to the highest of standards. I knew I could always choose to be overtly critical, or I could choose to speak kindly to myself and say, “you did good today kid-you’re trying. And a few years ago you didn’t even have the courage to do just that.” The more work I did, the more I learned and could see clear improvement. It’s just like working out…if you lift weights every day you won’t see results immediately that day-but you will feel them and then with time you will physically see results that will allow you to feel confident which will only propel you to keep moving forward.

So I hope you’ll enjoy the process. I hope you’ll speak kind to yourself. I hope you’ll know that expecting perfection isn’t the goal here. And that constantly comparing your work to others, is detrimental to your own success. So go make lots of work! Do what you love, and I promise you will get there if you stay dedicated and get back up and get going! Also printing out that Ira Glass quote and putting in your work space…is highly recommended ;)

xo

Jess

The Marvelous Art of Being You!

Last week, I had the most amazing experience. A lovely lady who follows my art on Instagram told me she saw my artwork on the new season, of the Emmy award winning show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel! I told my man we needed to go pull up our Amazon account and turn that TV on pronto! 

*Side note: I work with a licensing company who manages the licensing rights to my art and gets it artwork into books, magazines, and film/television shows globally. They do hundreds of deals for me a year-and so I am not aware of every specific deal per se, so many come as a very wonderful surprise. Such as past works that have been on Danielle Steel novel covers, artwork getting into Marie Claire magazines, etc. They get my artwork into Getty Images which as many know is a huge entity. Rest assured, I am credited and paid every time my work is used*

As we waited for the episode to load, I couldn't help but wonder, what artwork did they use? How big would it be? Will it even get a few seconds of air time?? I had no idea what to expect, but my heart was racing in anticipation. 

Dior & Paris painting, set on the stage of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel!

The artwork is in the 1st 2 episodes, the more prominently displayed one is around 50 minutes into the 2nd episode of Season 2. Mr & Mrs. Weissman are leaving Paris, and the scene is dripping with a bit of sadness and romance. They are on a beautiful typical Parisian street scene, and then THERE IT IS. My painting, Dior & Paris!!! Bold, scarlet red, and strikingly large format. Perfect for the scene. My love of French line work and vintage Vogue's is apparent. All those hours of researching archived 50s Vogues paid off baby! (I study every quarter in a library archives Vogues & Harpers Bazaar for hours.) The color story, the rule of thirds, every detail I could see being composed with so much thought and care in the set design. And all I could think was, "Wow. I get to be me. I get to paint what I LOVE. I get to embrace who I am as an artist. And then the world embraces me back. And applauds me for it.”  It felt like the Universe was telling me, "Hey Jessica, just keeping being you. When you are you, and keep believing in yourself, the magic happens. You are worth it. Be prepared for your dreams to come true, and be prepared for them to surprise you.” I felt shivers up and down my spine. I couldn't' have dreamt a better scenario for my art. To have my artwork in Paris, on one of the most critically acclaimed shows, with the best acting, amazing writing, and fabulous dresses, set design and most importantly… the best story of female empowerment-DAMN!!! It all made sense. It all felt completely me, and very natural. It felt magical.

These last 7 years of professionally illustrating and making art-have been the most fulfilling years of my life. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, that my positive thinking, my willingness to paint what I love versus what the market is doing, or what others may tell me to paint-is why I get to do what I do. When I am me, everyone wins. When Mrs. Maisel gets up on that stand, and makes light of her life and shares her truth-she wins. When Susie believes in Midge, even when the odds are completely against them and they still keep going -they win. 

What woman can’t relate to Mrs. Maisel?

I painted that piece back in 2011. It was a homage to my love affair of Vintage fashion magazines, Rene Gruau, Henri Toulouse Lautrec and Dior’s cinched waist dresses and coats of the 1950s. It was also about my dream of someday going to Paris. (I would later go in 2015 when I was working with Kérastase Paris and get a book offer when I was there!!-that's also another GOOD story.) 2011 my life was a lot like Mrs. Maisel's. I was in my 1st marriage-that I knew was not going to make it. I had an unfaithful husband, and I was lost. I wasn't sure how I would leave, but I also wasn't sure how much longer I could stay. My life felt so uncertain. And in that time of my life, I was a closed book to most people. So turning to my love of fashion illustration, and painting allowed me to reconnect to what I was most passionate about. I had a dream career of being an illustrator. It allowed me to imagine that perhaps someday, I could have the life I dreamt of. Perhaps people would love my art, and it would sell and I would work for magazines, and my art would open doors for me and allow me grow as a woman. So everyday I woke up and got to work. I painted hundreds if not thousands of paintings in 2011. I did this not knowing if I would ever sell a thing. I did it because I loved every minute of it. Even when I doubted my self, my skills and my worthiness at times. There was a lot of bad artwork made. But every once in a while I got it right. And when I got it right, I could feel it in my bones. Near the end of 2011 was when I began to see my artwork change. I could feel that I was finally letting go of expectations, I stopped looking at my idols works and comparing mine to theirs, and my artwork was gaining strength. Dior & Paris was one of my lighter paintings. I also made more deeper work, that would got me critical acclaim and opened a lot of doors for me. 2011 was such an important year for me, and I'm so grateful I followed my passion and intuition. Small doses of work everyday lead to great things for me. And it will for you too.

In 2012, that's when my life changed. I made more money than I could have ever thought I would, doing what I love. No one told me that could happen. In school, and in society it was always "oh the only way to make a living as an artist is to teach. Or just be prepared to be a starving artist.” I felt a surge of confidence, empowerment and excitement. And I felt stronger and more myself than ever. At the end of 2012 I left my husband. As I watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I can't help but feel such a connection to the show and Midge. And I can't help but wonder if the real miracle here is that something as simple as a painting of a woman in Paris- was picked out of chance. I believe it wasn't a coincidence. I believe it happened so I can too can echo the story that Mrs. Maisel is all about.  And that I can share my magic, with you!

Be yourself. Do what you love. Don't give up on yourself. Put on some red lipstick, hold your head high and expect great things to happen to you. Because you are Marvelous! Get up on your stage, and be yourself!

xo

Jessica

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