My Top Five Favorite Books for Creativity

I’m keeping this post short and simple. I always always recommend these books to those who need to jump start their creativity energy, unblock any negative feelings or limited self beliefs, just need some good juju!

I start everyday with 20 minutes of reading and about 15 minutes of journaling. This allows me to feel really safe, good energy before moving onto my day. This habit started when I began reading my #1 recommended book, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Cameron encourages her readers to start everyday with 3 pages of writing. And anytime I am feeling anxious, or overwhelmed-the morning pages really help calm me down and I can find my inner focus again. So with that said, here are 5 amazing books that all have profound effects on my well being and creativity:

1. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. GET IT NOW.

2. Ask and It is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks. This one blew my mind. Also, it’s a book Oprah keeps on her nightstand. Need I say more??

3. You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. This is a great book for today’s modern gal. It hammers into you that when you LOVE yourself, you will change your life and what you get out of it.

4. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho-okay I just started reading this one and I’m not even finished and I’m already recommended it. haha. It’s a classic, and I think after reading just a few pages I know why it’s a mainstay in a lot of book lists and collections. Already it’s mantra “when you desire something the universe conspires to bring that to you” is SO SO amazing to me to really think about.

5. Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown. I spent most of this year reading all of Brown’s books. This last one, her most recent book, is very heavy. It’s hard to get through quickly but it’s so vital I think in facing our darkest demons and those really tough issues we are facing in society and also within our deepest selves. I think she really tries to teach us to think more empathetically, which is what I am working hard on all year. Such an amazing read.

Let me know what books are on your Top 5 List! I always need new ones. Enjoy and go read something that empowers and uplifts you today!!!

My Best Advice for Dealing With Comparison

I would be a liar if I told you that I don't feel pressure to compete, compare myself to other artist's or feel the weight that social media can put on us to feel like we are never doing enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, traveling enough...yadda yadda yadda. I'm also bored of this way of thinking, aren't you? It is not productive and it doesn't make us feel good at all. I want my social media usage to be a place to connect, uplift and encourage others. 

I came across a passage in a book I am reading, called Ask and It is Given. Read this one-it's what Oprah keeps on her night stand! This is the most profound thing I have read recently, and when I am in a good place this is usually how I perceive the world:

Some of my latests works have been layered with different techniques and subjects that have always fascinated me.  My focus has been about finding peace, calm and love within. Can you tell? ;)

"Each point of view matters; every request is granted; and as this amazing Universe unerringly expands, there is no end to the Universal resources that fulfill these requests. And there is no end to the answers to the never-ending stream of questions-and for that reason, there is no competition.

It is not possible for someone else to receive the resources that were meant for you, and you cannot selfishly squander resources that were intended for someone else. All desires are answered; all requests are granted, and no one is left unanswered, unloved, or unfulfilled. Somebody else does not have to lose for you to win. There is always enough."

YASSSS! I actually have been writing on my calendar the last few months at the top, "THERE IS ABUNDANCE". As a reminder, that I know when I look at the world with a positive mind set, and from a place of abundance and not from a place of scarcity I receive the things I dream about. I am a better artist and human when I focus on my world, and what I am best at. We all have different gifts, talents and perspectives that the world needs. How boring would it be if we only saw one artist's work, or one singers album? We need everyone to share their gifts and talents. And do it from a place, of knowing there is abundance.

This year my work has been all about focusing on my strengths, good energy and knowing that I cannot take someones' place and they cannot take mine. I have had a few tests on that front, where I actually have told clients or people interested in working with me that I might not be the right fit and send them other illustrators contacts. And when I do that, I feel like I'm practicing what I preach. It is hard, but I challenge you to try to see the world from this point of view and I know that your dreams can transpire too. I will share more stories soon, of exciting things that have transpired in my life when I stick with this positive point of view. 

Working with watercolor, gouache and being true to myself as an artist always translates to break throughs with my art. 

When One Door Closes

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do. We own our stories so that we don't have to spend our lives being defined by them or denying them. And while the journey is long and difficult at times, it is the path to living a  more whole hearted life". -Brené Brown, Rising Strong

Sometimes doors slam shut, right in our faces. And we are left feeling alone in the dark. Doubting ourselves, our work and questioning our faith. This happens to us all-it's a universal feeling. We fall down. And sometimes we hesitate to get back up and stay in the fight. 

As a freelancer, I have to put continual faith in myself, my work and that tomorrow will bring me the opportunities I am working for daily. This is never easy. In fact, it is one of the toughest challenges for creative freelancers and myself. I could easily choose to live in constant anxiety over how I will pay my bills, if my work will even warrant any reaction or opportunities for me. While also questioning if I will be made fun of, and be told my work isn't original or any good. In fact, there are a million things I could spend my time worrying about. Instead of worrying, I have to choose to have more faith than fear. That I am here for a grand purpose. I know that through making artwork, I feel less anxious, stressed, and more alive and also full of energy. I have been concentrating on taking that energy of feeling doors close on me, and not letting that darkness sink in. 

One door that recently closed on me, was a job opportunity I was really hoping would work. I had been talking to the US Tiffany's event manager for months about the possibility of illustrating at live events for Tiffany stores across the country. I was really looking forward to a new year, and a chance to get out of the studio to meet new people and get to paint in person for one of the most amazing American brands! I was visualizing how incredible it would be. I even started buying dresses that I thought would be perfect for it. Dress for the job you want, kind of a thing! 

The new year started and the door for that opportunity closed on me. It really discouraged me. The negative side of me felt stupid for even dreaming that big-and thinking that it would work out for me. I even questioned my talents as an artist, and that feeling of not being good enough was trying to creep in. After internalizing what was going on and what I was feeling, I began writing down what I was feeling. Working out my emotions, and telling myself this wasn't a failure or a rejection. And I realized, that that door closed on me because there is something even more amazing waiting for me, if I am able to just get back up and get back in the fight. It was time to take that feeling of discouragement, and make some art. I knew, and I know, that I will be able to go on and do exactly what I dream of doing-that I will travel the world and meet amazing people and paint for the brands that truly have inspired me.

I sat down a few days later to try to paint. And I was feeling so discouraged. I wanted to just quit, and go sleep. But a voice inside me kept saying, "I promise you if you just stick around and try you'll paint something that will help you". I looked down at my palette and noticed I had so much paint left, that I would be wasting it if I stopped now. And then I thought about using the brush to create faces. So I began-and what came out of it, was a new fresh, energetic way of painting for me. And it hasn't stopped since. Every day I am learning and creating, and knowing that I am allowing new opportunities and doors yet to be opened because I was wiling to keep going. I even got an email from Chanel's PR team telling me they love my work. What more hope and encouragement could I ask for? :) The most surprising thing was the recent artworks have gotten more positive reactions, likes, comments on my Instagram than anything else. Which only encourages me to feel that I am doing exactly what I should be right now. And I am so grateful for the the support I am receiving. 

In fact, I have already booked one illustration event based on these paintings for Jimmy Choo! It's in a few weeks and I'm so thankful for it. 

Starting fresh and doing new things with my artwork is so hard. But I do feel like I am at a point where I need to continue to work in this new direction. I also know that it is pushing me to evolve and really focus on my work and dreaming bigger than ever. So stay tuned for more artwork, and more stories where I can share with you my failures and my successes. It's all to push you to stay in the fight! 

You can check out more of what I'm working on, in The Bold Strokes gallery here :) 

Buy The Desk

Buy the desk.

Invest in yourself. 

One of the most common questions I get asked in emails, DM's and in person, is people coming from a place of feeling like they are not worthy to spend the time, the energy, and the money on themselves and their talents. I have been reading, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. I highly recommend this book as it really breaks down this concept to a deep and applicable way. I can't tell you how many messages I get saying, "But I'm not sure if I should invest in this" or "I just don't know if I will ever be good enough" or "there is so much uncertainty in pursuing art, how did you do it?" It can be a lot to take in, and feel that energy coming at my constantly. So that is why I try hard to make these posts about how I can be truly honest, open and share with you my struggles and successes.

One of the greatest myths is that successful artist's never sucked, or fell flat on their faces. That their talent took them to the top, and that people feel from the gate that they can't be as talented as their idols so why even try? I am pretty sure that every successful artist had to overcome their own personal roadblocks, feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. And probably got a whole lot of nos, rejections and failures to boot. I'm here to tell you, from the little I have learned, and all the other talented artist's I have talked to, we all had those hurdles. Especially in the beginning. And we still have those hurdles. So why not run the race with me? Why not invest in yourself and fail today, in order to be successful tomorrow? 

My 1st art desk. And my simple, affordable supplies. It felt like the start of something special for me. 

One of the 1st paintings I made on my desk, It's A Black and White World. A few months later, it was published in ELLE Brazil. 

A few years ago, when I first started to get back into creating (read the last post for further insight into my creative story) I was a bit uncertain of what would come of all the time, passion, sweat and even tears I was putting into my work. But I LOVED every second of what I was doing. So I was okay at that point of just striving to get better at my craft. (And I still am-it's okay if I make a million things that people don't care about, I care about it and that's enough). I was beginning to get steady sales in my Etsy shop. It was really allowing me to feel a small pat on my back-like people were enjoying what I was doing. I was doing it all on a shoe string budget. I had not bought anything much-I was checking out books from the library and using very basic materials that were super affordable. 

I went the local art supply store and kept seeing an art desk. It was nothing fancy. But it had a lamp, storage, and a chair. And I had never owned an art desk. Which now I look back and think is so silly. I thought about that desk. I thought about how I could sit down and create on it, and maybe fulfill my life long dream someday of illustrating for magazines, books and brands. And I also thought, "Maybe I don't deserve this. Maybe I'll buy the desk and no one will ever buy a painting from me and I'll feel like a loser for even thinking I could be an artist". These were my real thoughts. Can you relate? Then the other side of my brain said, "Buy the desk. Buy the desk, make the work. People will support you and you will fufill your dreams. This will be the start. Buy the desk". 

So after a few weeks of deliberating, I bought the desk. And let me tell you, that small investment I made for myself, and my talent, was definitely the start of moving in a direction of saying, "Yes, I am worthy. Yes, I deserve this. Yes, I can make great things sitting at this desk". 

So, I'll keep this post short. Buy the desk! Or whatever it is, that you know is a part of your creativity flourishing more. You are worthy of it. Work hard, do what you love, this is your life and you deserve to invest in yourself.

Seeing my map, I worked on in my humble nook of the world, be published in ELLE Brazil was a dream come true. I even had a friend translate it for me! 

I painted a series of city skylines at my desk, and a few months later QVC used them on their coverage of NY Fashion week online, and on their TV channel. 

My desk evolved with me and my career. It continued to gain more paint stains. I feel centered when I sit and create. 

My 1st Etsy Shop Sale & How my Artwork and Life has changed 9000 sales later

“No one will probably ever buy a piece of art from me, but at least I can say I tried ”. I remember distinctly thinking that, when I first came across a website called Etsy that was an online marketplace for artists. It was featured in one my favorite (now defunct sadly) magazines, Lucky. I was working part time at Anthropolgoie, in a new city, Philadelphia. I couldn’t find work in my degree of illustration, nor had I really embarked at all in pursuing it because I was too afraid. I was far away from my family or friends, which was hard. Luckily I did get a chance to volunteer at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I was supporting my ex’s career move at the time, that brought us to this new city. He worked long hours, and traveled a lot for work, and we shared a car. So I felt a bit stuck at 27. I guess I thought I would have done more with my degree at that time. I felt a bit, like I was not reaching my potential at all. And it frustrated me, but I didn’t know what else to do about it. I had to cut myself some slack, because I was trying hard to make my spouse happy and feel well adjusted to his new career opportunity. It wasn’t our first move for his career, and it wouldn’t be our last. I know that as I write this, many people can relate to that feeling of giving up what you want in order to let the person you care about take the opportunity afforded them. You do it, because that’s what you do when you are in a relationship. 

The idea of an Etsy shop, really excited me. All of a sudden, something brought this little glimmer of hope into my life. And because I didn’t have a website, or really any artwork to speak of, besides what I had made in school, and Etsy was affordable it just seemed like I should try to see if I could sell a few sketches. Just to try it out. I needed an excuse to paint and draw more, and it seemed quite natural. So I put a few sketches up.

My 1st Etsy shop sale! 

I had a very low budget, and only bought affordable paper and products to create for my Shop. 

My sketches….were on laser computer paper. And I used black acrylic that I watered down, because at the point I had never even painted with watercolors. It was inspired by a fashion photographer who I admired. Richard Avedon. I started spending many hours going to different libraries in the area. One of my favorites was the Philadelphia public library which was close to the art museum I volunteered at. I would go to the art, design and fashion books and just oh and aww over everything. I would check out so many heavy, art books it was hard to lug them back and forth. But I felt like I had discovered a treasure. It made me want to create. And it made me want to get back to what I stopped doing for a while.  I took my dreams and artwork a bit more seriously as I knew it was a now or never type of situation.  So I made some sketches, and I took a picture, very badly lit of it.  I posted it for $20. And then I carried on and kinda forgot that I had even posted anything. 

A few weeks later I got an email that said “Etsy Transactions: Congrats on your order”. I had to read and reread it many times, to really believe that it was real. Someone I didn’t know, who lived in the state of Washington, bought my $20 sketch! I was SO excited! Somehow that simple gesture, meant the world to me at that moment. I waited of course, for the funds to go through, because I was still a bit skeptical about it all. And when it did, I merrily took my artwork to the post office and wrapped up the sketch and mailed it out. 

One of the various types of sketches I sold in my Etsy shop in the early days. 

A week or two later the woman who bought my sketch even left such a positive review of my item. And I think something inside me clicked, I wanted to sell more sketches. I wanted to make people happy, because making art made me happy and making a few extra bucks would be highly welcome. 

Just a month after I started my Etsy shop, my life changed drastically. I was facing the hardest challenges a human being could imagine, and I didn’t know how to open up to anyone I knew. My relationship was going through major struggles, ones I never fathomed would happen to me. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I cried myself to sleep and woke up crying. I felt so much pain from the hurt in my relationship and I kept that feeling of shame and embarrassment close to my heart. I look back now and wish I could have spoken to someone sooner, and knew I wasn’t alone in my grieving. And that is why so often I do share my story, or live a more open life because I have had time to heal from it.  I also want anyone to know that none of us ever are truly alone in life, ever. All we have to do is talk, or open our hearts or pick up a paint brush and slowly but surely we will find someone to connect to. 

After a few weeks of the crying I was so tired of feeling sorry for myself. I was tired of feeling the pain. I had worked out, I had written in my journal non stop, I tired to find a balance but I knew what I really needed to do was to paint. I knew that when I painted, I felt less pain. I felt like I had a hope. I felt like I did as a kid, when we moved across the country during middle school 3 times and I had to be the new kid and that terrified me. I wore Kmart clothes on my chubby body and got bullied-but all I had to do was sit down and draw and kids would come up to me and ask me questions and ask if I could make them something. I knew my art, could save my life. Just like it had gotten me through my teen years-which were hard for me as we moved from Virginia to Las Vegas to Tennessee and back to Las Vegas all in span of 4 years. I knew that it was now time for me to create art, as a way to channel the negativity that seemed to encompass my body and mind every day. 

This is one of the first paintings where I began putting hidden meaning into each work. 

At first, I created from a place of wanting to do lots of works that emulated my favorite artist’s and trust me, almost everyone does this in the beginning. It feels safe, because it is. It didn’t take long for me to realize, that I needed to stop emulating others and start painting from what inspired me and what my eye was most drawn to. I made a deliberate choice to close a lot of the books I had been using for research. This was also before I joined Instagram and only posted on Facebook here and there. So I didn’t have as much distractions, or the constant influence of my phone by my side. So making the choice to paint from what’s inside, that’s when we feel most vulnerable. I painted every day pretty much, and I loved it. It felt natural and I felt an urgency to get better. I became a self taught watercolorist. I had not learned the art of watercolor in college as I studied oils and acrylics. I had not only reconnected with my passion for creating, but I had found the right medium for me. It was spontaneous, fast, and it allowed me to not overthink my work, and become more confident in what I was doing over time. All the while, I had a slow and steady stream of sales in my shop and I was getting more leads on commissions, custom work, and I was getting amazing press and traffic to my shop and website

It wasn’t long before we moved to Atlanta. I was a bit sad to leave Philly, as I was just beginning to make friends, but my ex really felt his dream job was here in Atlanta, so I supported that for him. I had faith that a new group of friends, and possibly a new life awaited me in Atlanta. It wasn’t long after I moved to Atlanta, that I met an amazing group of female artists who rocked my world! I met one of my closest friends now, Michelle Armas-a bad ass artist and a beam of sunshine that I needed in my life. These women really gave me a newfound hope. That I could make a living being an artist. It seemed like such a dream! I began really slowing down in my artwork, and becoming more intentional. My subconscious started coming through in my artwork. And when I recognized that, the artwork took on a more powerful and authentic meaning. It was almost like magic was happening, quite slowly, but it made me feel like I was on to something. 

Trees as Veins. The painting that represented the pain I felt inside for so long, but not knowing how to express it to others at that point in my life. 

I continued some major hardships in my relationship. I suffered a miscarriage, and had to get a D & C. The impact of how sad I felt in my relationship, as I knew we both were growing apart and that the tragedies we had faced years previous did not seem to get better. And when I suffered the loss of a miscarriage, I felt as though I didn’t know what else to do, but paint even more. I felt so much loss and sadness, but I knew I had to keep working and processing that pain into my creativity. At this point, my Etsy shop had already become my full time job. I was shipping numerous orders a day, and feeling a sense of momentum in my life that I had never experienced before. I knew that my art was going to become bigger than me, and it would also provide a way for me to leave my marriage and be able to take care of myself financially.  This was the hardest decision I ever had to make. As a woman, at 31, deciding to start my life over and feel like I could be disappointing my family, or friends was extremely difficult for me. But I knew, I deserved a life that wasn’t clouded with the negativity and darkness that my marriage had become. I knew there was something out there for me, that could allow me to live my fullest life and one day share my story of overcoming the odds. 

My Etsy shop continued to evolve and grow with me as a person. I can’t believe I’m over 9000 sales now!!! It seems like that 1st one, was just yesterday at times.  I was able to create artwork that I was proud of. It also opened doors for me, I had brands approaching to work with me that I could only dream of. Target was my 1st big job. And from there, the list has grown to just real pinch me types of jobs. Sephora, Starbucks, Lancôme Paris, Kérastase, Ebay, NYX cosmetics, and most recently the lovely Chantecaille! It’s been a dream that continues to grow with each day. And that is why, I share such a lengthy story. It is hard to just give a simple answer to how I have become the illustrator that I am today, or how my Etsy shop has grown to be such a huge stepping stone in my career. I could not be here today without the support of my Etsy shoppers. From that 1st sale, that brought me so much hope, to the sales I had this year to help pay off medical expenses from the blood clot in my lungs, (see previous blog posts), each sale has felt like such a pat on my back. Each compliment or words of praise, just allows me to know, that the only reason I have been successful at this, is because I did not give up and I took the hardships in my life and worked through them and fought back by making art and staying positive. I also have a lil deal with the man upstairs, that I’ll always share my story with others. Even if it’s for a small moment, I want to be a message of hope and brightness to anyone I cross paths with. I almost lost my life last year, while I was in the hospital, so my goal to continue to share and be more open has become a priority for me. Life is short and fragile, and we need to feel connected and share our messages of hope with others. 

The Tree of Life. Painted while I was healing from my miscarriage. The tree represents how I felt barren and a huge sense of loss. But on the outside, I tried to keep myself put together. 

So my last thought is this, stay inspired by the world around you, share your story, use your voice. Make good art. Your life will be profoundly better, if you invest in your voice and future. Combat the darkness, with the light that is within you. 

Keep Being You: How staying true to myself and art landed my dream job painting for Starbucks.

I was standing in the emergency room at the hospital, waiting to speak with the hospital's financial advisor. I was back to a place that only a few months before I was admitted to, with a high heart rate and a very low blood count due to what we later found was a blood clot in my lungs.

It's always very surreal when you step back into a physical space that created a lot of anxiety, fear and pain for you. I had worked extremely hard to feel back to my "normal self". I also had raised money through two art sales in my shop to pay off my hospital stay. I felt so grateful to be there, feeling strong and having had so much support for me to be free from this burden. It was hard knowing that a large chunk of my years income, as a freelancer, was going to pay these bills. But I also knew, that I had my health and the support of so many helping me feel like it was all going to be okay. I thought to myself, "Jessica...money comes and goes. And you have your life and your dreams ahead of you. You'll be doing jobs you dream of in no time". I took a breath, and continued to wait, while surrounded by people in the emergency room awaiting to see a doctor. I kept thinking about myself sitting there last time and how scary it was. But I felt comforted in that moment. I checked my email, since I had to wait for a bit. 

I received two emails, that floored me. One was from a job I had done with Lancome, wanting to possibly have it reprinted in the September issue of Vogue. And another from Starbucks telling me that they loved my work and were interested in having me paint custom large watercolors for one of their stores in NYC. In that small moment, the timing felt so serendipitous to me. It reminded me, that just as I told myself moments ago....you're going to continue to pursue your dreams. That what I am doing is important, and needed.  I spoke with the team at Starbucks, Daniella & Lara soon after and it was like a breath of fresh air to work with a client I had dreamed of working with for years and years. The artwork for Vogue didn't get published, but I am determined to keep making the best work I can and I will hopefully get published in that magazine one day.

One of the first concepts we worked on. A woman with a coffee landscape double exposure. 

A 2nd concept for a smaller 30 x 40" painting, of coffee leaves creating a woman's portrait. 

The most amazing part of working with Starbucks was they told me, to just be me. They told me they had found themselves in my work. And that I didn't need to think of this job as me trying to find myself in Starbucks. I was astounded. It's what every artist wants to hear. And so we just started off on be the best note. They asked me to come up with some concept watercolors for 2 large paintings for one of their stores in the Upper West Side. One of the paintings would need to be 7 feet long....so I knew that this was going to be a new, exciting challenge for me. Also a bit terrifying. But hey...no risk, no reward right?! They loved my work combining nature and portraits. Which is my favorite as well, so coming up with the concepts was super fun. I had a few days to just find inspiration, and just paint some ideas. 

The final approved mock up design, of what will be a 7 foot long, 4 feet high painting on watercolor paper. 

During the process of creating concepts, as an artist you always feel vulnerable. Once you send your ideas off to your client, you think "Will they love it? Will they hate it?". And you await the reply. The collaboration process can take a few days, or weeks depending on the project scale and time. I worked with the team for a few weeks as we finalized the look of each painting, and the exact sizing and placement in the store design.  Each day was super exciting, and they were so encouraging and trusting. Once again...dream client. 

MIchelle Arma's studio (her amazing work all around my painting). Love that girl. 

So, after those weeks, the new challenge began. Painting on the largest scale I have ever done. How would I approach it? I had a paper roll and a larger studio of my friend's I could crash at night to work on this. I kinda went into it head first. Mainly because I think it's how we all learn best. We just go into it, thinking....well I'll either get it right or not. But I gotta do this! It's worth it! So I channeled my inner Jackson Pollock and set up the painting on the floor. There was a lot of dancing by myself in between waiting for paint to dry. I love to dance and paint at the same time! I also have to amp myself up for projects like this. If you remember Dwight getting ready for an interview on The Office, he grabs the wall and screams, "I'm AWESOME!". That's basically what I have to do. Adrenaline and self affirmations are my best friends when I work on high pressure jobs.

The first splash of color, starting over the paintings in a studio in Brooklyn. 

The other huge challenge, was figuring out how to get this painting up to NYC safely. In the back of my mind I knew it might be smartest to just fly up there with the painting in tow, and drop it off. But I kept trying to talk myself out of it. I worked with Fedex to try to package it as safely and securely as possible. We did a box, inside a box with bubble wrap and insured it to the max. And guess what happened....IT GOT DAMAGED!!! My worst nightmare came true! And we did not have a lot of time left in our deadlines for the store opening for me to make new paintings. I was so stressed, but I knew that I would prob get all the insurance coverage on it, and if I gave myself 3 days...I could make 2 new giant paintings. Mind you, the first paintings I did took a few weeks. I knew I needed to fly to NY and stay in a studio big enough that I could paint in. I really didn't have time to overreact to the situation. I just had to get it done. I did not want to disappoint anyone. And I thought, maybe the next version will be better because I won't have time to overthink, ha! 

I reminded myself, any great project I have done, has been hard. And in the end, I remember the process more then the end result. For me, art is truly about the process. It excites me, scares me, and energizes me. So I used that energy to making 2 large paintings in 3 days. I took a few breaks to my favorite NYC spots...but other than that...I drank A LOT of Starbucks coffee, listened to a lot of rock music and kept my head down. I had the constant support and encouragement from the team. Daniella was amazing to work with.

The last morning, I worked on the painting until it was time to get into a cab and hand deliver it in person. Which honestly was such a great thing. I rarely get those chances to meet people I work so hard with, in person. And it felt so significant to finish just in the nick of time for a job that was a dream.

I will have professional shots of the paintings to share, in the next couple of months. But the store is now open, so if you're in the area just head to 86th St. & Columbus Starbucks and you'll see these puppies in beautiful frames, by Big Apple Art Gallery.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and it encouages you to just keep being yourself and take those risks for yourself and your dreams. 

Using Arches paper, and a mix of inks and watercolor. 

Using a mixture of greens, from an art store in NYC. 

The last night's fuel. 

A Very Special Flash Sale!

“Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I'm very excited for my 6th Annual Flash sale coming next week! It will be Tuesday, June 6th in my Etsy shop www.jessicaillustration.etsy.com and it's 24 hours of 50% off artwork. A coupon code is posted right before the sale commences at Midnight EST time zone in my shop banner and on my social accounts @jessillustrator at Twitter & Instagram. This will be 1st time I am offering more than just 8.5 x 11" prints. This year I am included special new original works in different price points-sketch styles and more premium larger works. I also will be offering digital downloads in various sizes for those who want to save on shipping. I have been working hard on creating beautiful things and also finding older works that I have long forgotten to have posted that will be included.

A 13 x 20" original up for grabs for the sale! This is one my favorites. 

This sale has become such a fun time of year for me and all those who enjoy what I make. It feels like a celebration of what I do for a living. Mainly because Etsy and my everyday customer are what allowed me to get where I am today. I started my shop in 2009 thinking I'd post a few sketches...and didn't take it too seriously because I thought there was a chance I would sell nothing. Putting my art out there made it easier for me in time to take it all more seriously and want to do the best I could do. So I concentrated on finding the right inspiration and staying true to myself and what I was feeling. It took a couple of years of working hard before I started to see sales daily, and starting in 2011-2012 a steady year of selling daily numerous works and taking on freelance work changed my life entirely. It was a time in my life I will never forget, and I am so grateful that you all have connected to what I make. 

This sale is very special because as some of you may know I experienced a life threatening blood clot in my lungs late last year. (See previous blog posts for the recap). It was a very difficult experience and I was able to find so many who helped me through it all. I was able to be cleared by a blood specialist a few weeks ago and find that my blood is back to normal levels and that I do not have any underlying issues. Basically we discovered that because I had a virus when I was leaving Scotland (a stomach one) and boarded the plane my sickness allowed my blood to clot easier and created a perfect storm of events that lead me to the hospital. I feel so much relief seeing the specialist as she helped answer a lot of the mysteries surrounding that scary time.

When I received my final bills for my hospital stay, it was hard to see what my insurance lacked to cover. But the first thing that popped into my head was I could raise enough if I asked for the help and did a special sale. I thought immediately of my favorite Harry Potter quote. "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it" As much as I didn't want to open up about this, I knew that I needed to be open about this sale and ask for your help. I am using the funds from the flash sale to pay off my hospital bills. So I will continue to make the best art I can for you, as a thank you for your support and I hope you'll find something special. And I know that once I pay that hospital bill off...I can move forward in a new way feeling less stress and pressure. I have some pretty amazing fans who know what I have been through. I am thankful everyday for all the positive, encouraging energy you bring into my life and I hope to reflect that back to you with my words and my work. 

Dwell on the Possiblities

I want to talk a moment about dwelling on what could go right in your life, instead of wrong. I think it's normal human thinking for us to worry and have anxiety from time to time. A few years ago I started practicing self affirmations that were encouraged in a book I was reading, The Artist's Way. My self affirmations started mainly with my career goals as an illustrator and quickly spilled over to what I wanted to have go right in my life, such as my relationship goals. I am always amazed at the power of positive thinking and day dreaming. Of course it also goes hand in hand in with working through your struggles and not giving up on yourself and your dreams. 

I read once that worrying is like praying for something you don't want. Once that message was heard, it resonated with me. And helped me take my worries and set them off to the side, so that I could bring in the room for good thoughts and goals into my heart and mind.

I choose to dwell not just on the possibilities of what amazing things can and will happen in your life, but I remind myself to dwell on the goodness that is in my life. 

I have a quick story that happened a couple months ago, that I think you'll enjoy. I was having a discouraging week for one reason or another. I think I was putting pressure on myself for work because I was facing a new era in my life. Post hospital stay era for the blood clot they found in my lungs. If anyone has gone through a medical health scare and then come out of it, you'll probably understand the newfound anxiety, stress and PTSD that comes with it all. For me it was a worry that my blood clot in my lungs could come back, or I could have an underlying disorder. I also worried that I could have enormous hospital bills that would scare me so much that I would want to leave the life of being an illustrator-and the uncertainty of getting good paying work consistently. I was feeling all these emotions about it, and was questioning if I could get through it all without a consistent paycheck. Mind you, I seemed to forget that for 5 plus years I have been able to make a great income steadily by illustrating. I guess my PTSD was getting the best of me. 

So I did what I always do, when I need a gentle way to calm my spirit. I prayed. I asked God to help me know how I could get through this anxiety and my health issues/hospital bills. I said I would give up illustrating if I needed to get a "real job" to pay for my new expenses. I just wanted to know what to do. I remember feeling at ease after saying my prayer. I went to bed early that night, and my negative thoughts tried to creep in and I remember thinking, "Just dream about what you want to go right in your life. Think about your dream job Jessica". And I thought, "I want to work with Sephora. I always have...and I will just dream of that to put me to sleep tonight". 

The next morning I woke up and made myself my morning cup of coffee. I got out my laptop and went to check my emails. I was floored by an email I got through my website. It was from...Sephora!! It was their Paris branch that works for all their stores in Europe, and across most parts of the world except US, Canada and China. They were reaching out to me, about wanting to work with me on beauty illustrations. All I could do was put my head in my hands and cry tears of joy and comfort. I knew that God was answering my prayers and giving me that nudge that I would be okay, and that dreaming big and working hard have always lead me to these amazing goals coming to fruition. 

I wanted to share this to hopefully inspire you. To help you know that having anxiety and struggles happen to us all, and that once again-you are not alone. I have always felt strongly that if I put out my best work, that the opportunities I dream about will happen. 

I am currently sitting looking at the start of another mood board for the 2nd project for Sephora right now. I am also going back to the blood doctor next week to see the results on my blood tests. Life is crazy how you can continue on with a grateful heart...even though there will always be amazing things happening at one end of the spectrum and maybe some things that cause you sadness or anxiety on the other end of the spectrum. Each day truly feels like a gift to me lately, and it makes it easier for me to dwell on the good. 

10 Things That Should Have Been Mandatory Lessons in Art School

Last month I had the incredible opportunity to teach a workshop for Apple at their World Trade Center store in NYC. I was asked to present my story as to how I became an illustrator. For the presentation I also came up with a list, of things that I wish I had been taught while was studying art and illustration. I'm keeping this post simple. I hope it will be helpful to those who are thinking about making the leap to following their creative dreams. Many of the lessons are universal and can be applied to just about anything, but these are the things that stand out to me most. I get a lot of emails from students thinking about studying or are studying illustration who are afraid of pursuing it or just don't know how to wrap their heads around how to go about landing work. I also get emails from those who have a full time job not in the arts, and wondering how they should go about pursuing their dreams. Although I can't tell you what to do, and what works for me might not always work for everyone else, this list of 10 things are little pieces of knowledge that I usually end up saying and passing forward. So...enjoy the list and I hope it will inspire you!

1. Be Resilient. This is important. It is NEVER going to be easy. The more hits you take, the more rejections you get, the more ignored emails, it can be easy to just give up. To feel like no one may never care, or that you may never get anyone to buy your art. The list of discouraging things you can feel, can add up. And I am here to say, it happens to everyone. Especially in the beginning when you are green and you have a lot of growing and learning to do. I have found that the people who are successful are the ones who are resilient and keep going. That stay in the fight for their dreams. 

2. Follow Your Enthusiasm. This is important to students and those trying to find "their style". Odds are you know have a style. You have a voice. Try to only create what lights a fire inside you. What inspires you, and enthuses you. Because that will always translate to better work. Period. IF you try to paint what everyone else is painting, because you think it will sell and your heart is not it...good luck. That's a recipe for flat, stale art. Be true to your world and what honestly keeps you excited about creativity. I promise you, that is the best way to make sure your work has a spirit to it that otherwise it would not have. 

3. Stop Comparing. This is a lesson that sometimes I am good at, and other times I am not good at. It sounds easy to do, but we all know how hard it is. Especially in this day and age, when we are on our phones it can be easy to see everyone else doing such amazing things, posting perfect shit constantly that you start to compare yourself to it all and think negative thoughts. I try hard to do posts where I share my struggles or imperfect work. And I know that helps break down those walls. The best work I do is when I stop looking at what everyone else is doing, and look inward. When I get back to the basic things that excite me and keep me passionate and in love with the process of creating. That's when the magic starts to happen. When you realize you don't need to be like anyone else. You need to be you! Because you are irrrrreeeplaceable! (Insert Beyonce Giff). 

4. Make What You Can Make, Well. When I was in school, studying art, I remember learning what I was good at. Things that came naturally to me. And the other things that did not. Some lessons and projects I could not do well. And some I just excelled at. As I have been professional now with my artwork for about 6 years I have discovered more and more my natural abilities and also what I struggle with. You can make things that no one else can. Remember that. It goes back to the comparing thing. Focus on your abilities and strengths and really use them to your advantage. And odds are you will get better with your weaknesses over time. But don't kill yourself over what you can't make. When did anyone ever think, "Wow I wish Matisee painted realistic looking people more". People loved Matisse because he did only what he could do, and it he did well.

5. Winners are Losers Who Got Back Up. It's pretty simple. You want to win. You're going to lose sometimes. The only way to get that win, is to take that risk of losing and falling flat on your ass. Remind yourself that it takes courage and give yourself credit for doing something, rather than doing nothing. Get back up!

6. It Takes Four Hours of Painting to Get One Good Hour In. I read this in David Lynch's book, and it was such a lightbulb moment for me. And its' so true. I easily forget how important warm ups, and getting into a rhythm are to executing good work on days where I feel rushed or distracted. Now it certainly doesn't guarantee the best work of your life every-time you sit down, but it certainly is a good reminder that the discipline of sitting down and working will allow the creative flow to happen. Allow yourself the time to create good work. It's worth it. 

7. Be Authentic. Because of the way our world operates, we can easily start to see artist's who are authentic and those that aren't especially on social media. I have a hard time seeing this happen. And I try hard to make sure I am staying true to myself and being authentic to my own life with what I create and share. If you're busy trying to produce work that you think will sell, or caring too much about what other people are doing...you may fall into this trap. When I created artwork during dark, hard times in my life...my best work came forward because I was being authentic. And the same is true when you get inspired by something that excites you and creating what you see in the world around you. I have had people rip off my Etsy shop for years and paint the same subject matter in the same style as me. I just want to tell them...be authentic. I'm pretty sure your world is interesting and you can find things around you to paint that would produce much better work than by looking at what I'm painting. Sorry to sound a bit negative, but I think it's insightful and helpful to share that part of my line of work.

8. We Only Lose By Not Creating. I know so many people who want to do more creative things in their lives and are just so scared. I try to remind people that we can't make choices based on fear. And also to not be so hard on yourself when you make things that you wish were perfect. You are making something. And that is better than sitting in the sidelines and thinking about what you would make. Just make it! Do it today if you can!!

9. Failure & Rejection Are Part of Following the Dream. Use negativity to fuel you to become better! I have always admired people, especially athletes who go through such a battle of losing and then use that to fuel them to just work on their abilities to come back and win. I have used negativity to push forward, and a way to just say to the universe, "I am going to keep going! I don't care how many times I get knocked down!"

10. You Can Make A Living As An Artist! One of the most discouraging things when you decide to study art, or follow your dreams to become an artist is you can feel like the world is against you. I had teachers who projected onto me that it's not possible to do it full time. I meet people all the time who ask me, "So you do this full time? Do you have another job?" It can be hard for me to hear these messages of discouragement often. And it can make many people decide not to pursue this or study art. I am here, as are many artist's I know, to be an example to show you it is real and is possible! I wish I had more examples of people to encourage me, I did have a few though. And when I moved to Atlanta I met an amazing group of kick ass women artists who were doing it full time. I hope you know that you can do anything! It's a lesson I have learned and try to share with anyone who asks. So I like to pass it on! 

Listen to your Heart. How listening to my heart saved my life.

In November, my boyfriend and I spent 10 days exploring Scotland. It was our first trip abroad together, and we got to explore the cities, seaside towns, Loch Ness, and The Highlands. It was stunning, and the people of Scotland had so much charm. My health was great the entire trip. My head was full of inspiration and excitement with the inevitable afterglow I always feel when I travel outside the US. I had a sketch book in tow to prepare for the long haul flight back home, and was able to sketch a little on the flight from Edinburgh to London. 

We had a layover in Heathrow, and just as we were about to board for our flight home to Atlanta, I began to feel very faint and nauseous. My boyfriend asked if I wanted to stay behind, but I was not about to let my body stop me from getting on that plane. I blamed it on a combination of things: a lack of sleep, no food that morning, and the news of the election of Donald Trump that was all over the tv at the airport. I had never passed out in my life, and I sure as hell didn't think this was going to be the day that would happen. But I definitely knew deep down, that I was feeling something I hadn't ever felt before.

Then, less than an hour into the flight, I did pass out. Just before it happened, my head started to feel so light and my breathing became so short that I told my boyfriend, "I think I'm going to pass out". Next thing I knew, he gently nudged me and I awoke to see I had vomited all over myself. And I'm not talking a little bit; it was in my hair, and all over my jacket, tee, jeans, and my seat. I was embarrassed and horrified. Luckily, I had a wonderful British Airways crew there to help attend to my needs (they even gave me a change of clothes) and a boyfriend who did his best to make me feel comfortable. I was not looking forward to another eight hours on the plane, because I knew that I was most likely going to be sick and in extreme discomfort for its duration, but I did my best to keep calm and drink lots of fluids. 

Once we got home, I spent the next few days in bed, very sick. In addition to the nausea, I noticed was that my heart rate was on the rise and didn't seem to ever fall back down. 
We went to urgent care, and the doctor told me that I most likely had a stomach virus or food poisoning, and it would pass out of my system soon. She also told me that my heart rate was probably due to lack of fluids, since being dehydrated causes a higher heart rate. 

So, I went home and diligently sipped water all night and day. My vomiting stopped, but my heart rate was continuing to get higher. It felt like my heart was beating outside my chest, and when I would get up and walk around it would increase so quickly that all I wanted to do was lay back down. I was beginning to feel like this was a big issue of concern, but I also wanted to have faith in what the doctor told me. I woke up the next morning feeling even worse and we returned to a different urgent care. They gave me fluids, and I was hoping that that would be my cure. But my heart rate was still high. They told me that I just needed to go home, eat, and drink plenty of fluids and I would be okay. But deep down, I just knew it wasn't okay. 

Later that night, I felt a huge change in my mental and physical state. My intuition was really beginning to kick in, and my heart rate was becoming increasingly higher. It got so bad that I didn't even want to walk to the bathroom. I had the feeling that something was really wrong, so I told my boyfriend that we needed to go to the ER. By that point, I already felt that I needed to mentally prepare myself for some bad news, and to be admitted to the hospital. It's strange how sometimes we just know things, and I knew I needed to listen to my heart. It had never felt this way before, and it was obviously in distress. 

As soon as they checked me into the ER, they noticed my heart rate was way too high. I had walked from the hallway to their entry and my heart rate was at 140. And I was feeling light as a feather all over my body. They took me back, and I laid in this white room that almost seemed like a bad dream. My doctor proceeded to ask me many questions and told me I looked pretty pale. They took my blood, and found my blood hemoglobin levels were very low. A normal level for a woman is between a 12-14. I was at a 4.6. 

Holy shit. What does that even mean? That's how I felt. Why had I not felt any pain? What was happening to me? This is when your mind can't help but wonder and think the worst things. The doctor then began to ramble off a list of things that could be potentially be the culprit. That was not a fun thing to listen to. But a few things were certain: I was bleeding internally, I had lost a lot of blood, and I would need 3-4 blood transfusions right off the bat. I was admitted that night and sent up to ICU. The first test they wanted to run would be an endoscopy to see if I had bleeding in my stomach. I wanted to have hope that the first test would be the one where we would get answers and I could be released. 

The following morning, three of my closest girlfriends—Maggie, Nicole, and Katie—came to be by my side and brought me flowers and a Beatles album I could listen to when I went home. My dearest friend Michelle visited too, and she brushed my hair, gave me a facial, and, most of all, gave me incredible emotional support. My boyfriend sat by my side and his parents came right away. I felt so loved and cared for, and all of the company helped time go by faster. 

In the early evening, I was able to have the endoscopy that I needed—many of the doctors that I'd spoken to thought my bleeding might've been caused by a stomach ulcer, and that's one thing they wanted to check for. They put me under, and I remember waking up to hear my boyfriend and his parents say, "that's the best news"! I couldn't wait to hear. The doctor told them I had a tear in my esophagus that caused the bleeding (as a result of the vomiting a few days before), but it had already healed and I would be probably released the next day. It seemed too good to be true, and it was.

The main doctor over the hospital noticed that my heart rate was not going back down and my blood pressure was dipping as well. She also wasn't convinced that my blood loss was only a result of the esophagus tear. That meant more tests, a longer hospital stay, and the threat of a bigger issue at hand. This news was difficult for me to deal with, and I realized that when you are a patient in a hospital, your mental strength and attitude is the only thing you have left to control when you feel this helpless and your body is so vulnerable. 

That night, I felt more mortal than I ever have before. My boyfriend had fallen asleep, and I sat in the quiet of the night, alone with my thoughts. It had been a couple days of testing with no answers to speak of, and my heart rate was still high, even after three blood transfusions. I started to feel overcome by anxiety and fear. I knew I wasn't invincible, and that seemingly healthy people die every day. I was not above that. I said a prayer. I wanted to be accepting of whatever the outcome would ultimately be. I told God I was grateful for the life I have been given. That I have been able to fulfill a lot of my artistic dreams through him, that I was so happy to have so many wonderful friends and loved ones, a compassionate boyfriend, and that I had traveled the world and seen many beautiful things. I wanted to accept that if this was it, that I was grateful for the 34 years I had been given. I also prayed that if I was able to continue living, that he would be able to allow me to share my story and make more art to help bring comfort to those in similar circumstances. And also allow it to help me heal and process this all out. 

The next day, they finally decided to do a chest CT scan to see if I had a blood clot in my lungs. This is something that happens to many people when they travel abroad on long haul flights; if your blood doesn't circulate in your legs enough, it can cause a clot that will eventually break free from your leg when you are mobile again and travel to your lungs or other areas in your body. Blood clots in your lungs can be fatal, and in fact 1 in 4 people who get them, die from them. (I didn't know this at the time.) But once they told me they were doing the CT scan, I knew they would find something there. It seemed like the most logical answer to my condition. 

After the test, I was sitting in my bed in ICU with my boyfriend and his parents when the main doctor called me and told me they had found a clot. She said that I would need blood thinners to dissolve the clot, and that I would need to be on blood thinners in a pill form upon my release. But they also needed to test other areas of my body to make sure I didn't have any more clots. When you have one, you can sometimes have multiple ones. Scary, right? Luckily, the colonoscopy and heart and leg sonograms didn't find any other clots, and the blood thinners were at work to help me heal. My body was getting a real cleanse, and a tune up! Haha. I had to laugh at some of these things in order to get me through. The night of my colonoscopy prep, I had the funniest nurses and technicians who helped me to get through and laugh about it. 

When I was finally upgraded to stable condition, I felt hope. And ultimately when my body began to become more stable (when they finally took out the IVs that I had in both arms), I felt so free and happy. I felt like I had begun to win a battle. I ended up in the hospital from Saturday night to Thursday evening, and in those 5 days I cannot believe the whirlwind of emotions I felt. I know for a fact that I could not have survived without the amazing care from the hospital at Dekalb Medical, the sweet nurses and technicians, and all my family and friends sending me love and support. And my Instagram followers too! I needed the sunshine of positivity and well wishes to shut the dark thoughts out of my mind. Also, watching Dave Chappelle host Saturday Night Live on my laptop really lifted my spirits up, and a night of eating my favorite takeout pizza in our hospital room with my boyfriend and his family was one of those bittersweet moments of the experience that I'll never forget. 

My heart goes out to those who have experienced—or had someone they love experience—similar circumstances. I think I'm still wrapping my head around what happened. And a way to let go of this and move forward in a positive way, I have painted some works and also am sharing this post as a form to let go. I want to do nothing but to put messages of hope and love out into the world. I'm grateful that my art allows me to open that door for a conversation of love, hope and positivity. There is always beauty to be found, even in the dark moments in life. And I'm glad I was able to see everyone around me step up to the plate for me. It makes me want to be the same for others. 

Wishing you a fabulous New Year!

xoxo

Jess