Facing My Fears

I have been taking a break from social media the last couple of weeks, in order to face my fears.

I think if I’m honest with myself, I use social media way more to numb out and block one of my greatest fears I live with today. That fear is from my medical past. My medical past that included being in the hospital last year with internal bleeding so massive, I received 3 blood transfusions in 24 hours. Once I found out I had a tumor blocking my small intestines and it had to be removed ASAP, I don’t think I have ever fully mentally recovered from this trauma. Awaiting for a month to find out if I had cancer or not, was an experience hard to explain to anyone. And at times it overwhelms me that I have had 2 near death experiences in the hospital now, and leaves me feeling so helpless and alone. Saying that I know I am so lucky to have dodged the cancer bullet. And I have had a wonderful recovery and healing process. But it’s like those little cracks of anxiety that sneak up on you…that can really just throw a wrench in your day, week or even year.

Release Your Fears, watercolor on canvas paper.

Although I do a lot of things to really positively go about my day-from journaling, meditating, praying in the morning, to walking 45 minutes-hour outside everyday, eating healthy and doing what I love day in and day out, I still am human. And the trauma can easily be triggered-just from simple everyday things like going to the bathroom. Or a small feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I want to spiral out and have a full blown panic attack. And I think for the last 6 plus months of COVID, I literally numbed out the quiet feeling that can often terrify me. Because, I do love quiet oddly enough. I love taking breaks to do what I love, and not have anything to prove to anyone. To work on a new body of work uninterrupted. To really remember what life is like before the smart phone days! But I know I get a bit of both now because of my past….sometimes those fears come through and somedays I just have a peaceful, good day.

Not only was I trying to face these fears…my commercial work was also getting to be super defeating. I first didn’t get a job I was vetted for with a brand that I love. Then I was faced with what felt like a punch in my gut….one of my hugest career setbacks to date happened over the course of many months during COVID. I am working hard to learn from my mistake. Legally I cannot talk about it. But let’s just say that it was for a huge client, and it’s made me rethink how to create. And that’s why you saw me create differently a few months back, because I know I am going to take this PIVOT the universe has extended me and be the BADASS ARTIST I AM FOR LIFE!!

I will always, ALWAYS be the first person to want others to learn from me, and If I did something wrong I work my butt off to fix things. (Just take a look at my Etsy shop customer service for over a decade…only 1 negative review of over 2k reviews and 12k sale. And that is due to my respect and love for my customers) My blood boiled for a moment there. I felt so many things…and knew I needed the break from social media to really face a lot fears. Instead of just blocking it all out. I also wanted to create a new body of work…and really build myself back up using my positive thinking and manifesting abundance as much as possible. Because if there is anything I know…when life throws me a curve ball, I might strike out but I guarantee you I’ll be back at that base hitting a home run! I know being an artist means I will have career highs and lows. I know art will always be a controversial subject. But I am dedicated to helping others learn from me, and know that I can have huge successes but that doesn’t mean I won’t fail or make mistakes, or have people make me question my worth or talent.

My IG break is about over, and I hope that the new work can inspire you. I did a series of figure studies that I love. Here are a couple that I created that really capture the feelings of fear and overcoming them. When the world knocks me down, I will always be true to this gift that has allowed me to overcome every road block I have encountered in life. So I know now, that this is apart of my story moving forward.

Facing my fears head on, is the only way I can move ahead. And anyone who is facing your fears right now, know you are not alone. And you are brave and I am proud of you. I hope my blog can be a letter to you during your time of need. Pass on love and hope always!

Jess

#theworldisyourunway2020

So 2020….let’s just say some days I feel like “I’ve got this” and other days I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. And I know EVERYONE can relate. I’ve been taking a break from social media for the rest of the month to really quiet the noise, work on a new body of work uninterrupted, and reset intentions as well as my internal thinking to bring my vibration UP and UP.

I’ve gone through some major changes this year internally with how I see my art and career moving forward. Many of you know I’ll be closing my Etsy shop and reopening a newer, more elevated way to shop with me in 2021 right here on my website. So don’t miss out on my Etsy Shop Closing Sale coming November 27th-December 4th. I’ll be selling originals at 75% off and retiring the prints you see in my collection. There will be door prizes, and all sorts of BLOWOUT deals. Just thinking about the end of this era it makes me misty eyed. But I know it’s the change I need to make to GROW and evolve to the next chapter of my creative life.

Stepping into September like a BOSS. This design I created to get me thinking about the challenge is a silk, chartreuse shirt dress with black suede boots, and gold buttons.

2020 started off busier than ever and seemed to continue moving forward (even during COVID) like a speeding train. I don’t always know how to slow down, as I love to create and the work I do. I finally found an analogy that describes me…I love fashion illustration & creating like I love chocolate. What you see on my Instagram is true, authentic passion and a drive to become better daily. That disposition coupled with the strong empath that I am got me through many months of COVID. As you know I care so much about helping others become more creative and positive in their lives and I felt a strong duty to create free art workshops on my IG (which is one of the things I know looking back I’ll always be so grateful I got to do) All that being said, the burn out is real. So taking breaks from social media really helps me. As well as taking the time to just slow down and reconnect to WHY I STARTED. So I’m grateful that even having a week or so to really build my mental strength and self-love back up is so vital for me. Getting through COVID has got me thinking more and more creatively.

A month or so ago I kept thinking how fun would it be to do a creative initiative of original fashion designs for the month of September? I always love September as it marks the start of the foray into Autumn. All the fashion shows and The September Issue, pumpkin space lattes, putting on a pair of boots….you know all that stuff ;) And of course, this year it will be a little different. But I wanted to create a challenge for me and anyone else who wants to participate via Instagram using the hashtag #theworldisyourrunway2020 and posting your own dream collection, one look a day. So that by the end of September you have 30 looks! It’s a personal challenge for me, because I want to push myself to come up with original looks that I’m excited about and allow me to DREAM. Dream about the day where we will once again go on date nights, cocktail hour with my girls and painting at live events again! All while wearing things that make me feel confident and beautiful. Not gonna lie though, I am still wearing dresses and heels during this quarantine. I did about 3 solid months in sweats and then hit my breaking point bought a bunch of dresses and fancy shoes to say, “enough with these gray sweats…I need to feel like ME again.” Because dressing up for me, allows me to feel like I have a say in my confidence for the day, a tool of self-expression as well as happiness even during COVID.

I hope you’ll have fun if you do participate in this challenge. I will be so happy to share them in my stories and we can all encourage one another and bring some positivity and beauty into the world. And remember…don’t wait to wear that fancy dress. Do it tonight. Put on your favorite Pop songs and dance around. Remind yourself that if you can make the most of your life and time during COVID WE CAN DO ANYTHING!!!

Jess

How Self Affirmations changed my life and how they can change yours too!

Lift your head and your spirit to know that the sun will always shine on you.

This morning as I was writing in my journal it dawned on me that I needed to share with you all how important self-affirmations are.

I am often asked how I lead such a positive life, and how I manifest amazing experiences into my experience. And for me it always, always, always comes down to 2 things. 1. Self-Belief/love and 2. Self-affirmations. They seem to be antidote to a lot of negative thinking I have worked years to overcome. If you met me when I was a young woman, and even in my 20s I wasn’t this person born with natural confidence or self-belief that I could do anything I dreamt of. In fact, it was quite the opposite. And I think that’s why I feel it is important for me to share these continued messages that I was able to change my life and live the life that was only a pipe dream for me, because I choose to believe in myself, and speak loudly words of affirmation. Once I read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I was able to really implement changes into my daily routine that allowed me to make affirmations a part of my life. That is when I can say without a doubt my life changed. It opened news doors and a new way of seeing my life.

It is important to take the time to look at how you were raised. What were the examples your parents gave you? How did your teachers, friends and others you had relationships with treat you? You are trained at the earliest of ages to know your worth. And we teach people how to treat us. As I did the work in The Artist’s Way I was able to confront ghosts of my past, write them down and tell them they didn’t have the same power over me anymore. I also finally had the courage to leave a relationship where I was continually cheated on and lied to for almost a decade. The moment I left him at 31, I felt for the first time I was truly taking the power back in my life to say, “I AM WORTHY.”

If you are wondering how self-affirmations work they are at the core, very simple. They are just phrases of positive things you want to feel and do in your life, said out loud. The trick is to say them daily, and once you say them enough they become an actual belief. And it’s a form of the law of attraction. If you believe you are worthy of something and can have what you want in life, it makes it that much easier for the universe to bring it to you. Here’s a simple example. I’m sure we can all think of the friends we have that A. Always get exactly what they want in life. Whether it be the raise at work, an amazing relationship, etc. and B. The friend who hangs their head low and always has another story of how someone took advantage of them or their heart is broken yet again. Pay attention the energy your friends typically emit. We all have that energy, and it’s natural for it to be low and high at times. But what is your baseline? Are you usually thinking of what could go wrong? Are you usually thinking that you won’t be paid enough? That people will let you down? Or do you expect things to be more positive for you? These are all things we need to be more aware of.

As the wise words of Oprah I have on my mood board, “You become what you believe.” And just think about Oprah, she got pregnant as a teenager and had to overcome shame and child abuse. She overcame a series of terrible relationships filled with men physically and emotionally hurting her in 20s. And then something happened…she knew she couldn’t live that way and saw better things for her. She chose to change her thinking. And imagine if she stayed in that low place….we would not have the wisdom and inspiration from one of the world’s most powerful and uplifting empaths we have. Her story is one we all can learn from. We can OVERCOME our past. We can LEAD beautiful lives. It’s all up to us.

So here are some affirmations that you can use, and also try to think of specific ones. Write them down in a list. And each morning before you start you day, say them out loud with your shoulders back and your posture strong. Proclaim what is rightfully yours. I got these ones out of the book, The Secret and thought they are really lovely. These are good for everyday. They are general and powerful and will bring your energy up.

The Universe is Conspiring for me in all things.
The Universe is supporting everything I do.
The Universe meets my needs immediately.
I am the creator of my life.
I draw everything good into my life. Be it, people, jobs, circumstances, wealth, health. I am a magnet for what I think about most and I will CHOOSE to think about good things.
I am worthy of love, respect and the dreams I desire.
I will give respect to others and I will receive it back.
I have unfathomable power to in my mind to create an amazing life for myself and those around me!
I will help others and they will help me.
My good thoughts are POWERFUL and my negative thoughts are WEAK.

Now I also think it’s important to have specific ones you say. Every time I focus on being specific I am AMAZED at how quickly they work. (I had ones like, “I will work with Chanel. I will work with Target. I will be published in Vogue & Harper’s Bazaar.” AND THEY ALL CAME TRUE!!! But I also have ones non-work related like “I will find a man who respects me and I will respect him”. THAT CAME TRUE TOO!!! So make sure you really think of things that you see as your dream and then spend a few minutes every day believing that they are going to come to you. Be it big or small, you are allowed to have all the things you want. Don’t be shy.

So take the time to make a list of affirmations. Do it now. We all have the time. So no excuses. Practice them every morning. And I can’t wait to hear how they work for you.

Jess

The Final Flash Sale!!!

When I started my Etsy shop back in 2009, I had hopes of it becoming a successful platform to sell my artwork on. It sounded like a pipe dream…to sell what I love making to customers around the world. The first year and a half I didn’t really know much of what to do. Sales were slow but at that time, I wasn’t really putting pressure on myself to sell. I was putting pressure on myself to create meaningful things. I focused more on making artwork that allowed me to grow, express myself and have something to look forward to and dream about. The first 100 sales in my shop, which probably took over a year and a half to hit…all felt amazing. I knew my progress was slower than what others might think, but for me, I was finally taking the time to create what I needed and wanted to.

Blue Girl, one of my favorite pieces, which is now being sold at IKEA stores globally. If you would have told me that when I started my shop….that my artwork would later be sold to one of the largest retailers in the world, I would have not believed… — Blue Girl, one of my favorite pieces, which is now being sold at IKEA stores globally. If you would have told me that when I started my shop….that my artwork would later be sold to one of the largest retailers in the world, I would have not believed you!

The early stages of my Etsy shop were giving me hope and allowing me to heal from a crumbling decade long relationship. I threw myself into my art, when I found out my husband at the time had been unfaithful for more than half our marriage. I was moving all over the country to support his career, so I often was left alone (self-isolated which everyone can relate to more now) and creating was a huge way to get me out of bed in the morning and take the reigns of my own life and mental headspace. So, it’s no surprise that I am always encouraging anyone who asks about how I made my artistic dreams come to fruition, that you must use your own life experiences and story to help you express yourself and heal. What is art for, if it’s not for healing?

It wasn’t long after that first chunk of time, that my work got better. The more I created from my heart and the strong need to, the work got profoundly greater. People were connected to it. It became more and more emotive. I kept mentally thinking, “If you build it, they will come.” From Field of Dreams. And slowly, but surely…they did. And people began sharing the work online and in publications. Brands were contacting me to paint for them. It was all so surreal. There was a huge shift in momentum. And it all came from my heart, my work and God granting me grace to keep me going.

All That Glitters, from the early days of my shop.

My first Flash Sale, I did it on a whim and didn’t really have a platform to share about it on at the time. No Instagram audience at all yet. I just had my Etsy shop banner to advertise and made a few announcements about it. I wasn’t really sure if I would get many sales. When the sale happened, I was so surprised that I had hundreds of prints sold in one day!! I had an audience that was engaged in what I was making, and excited about it. I was texting my best friend who lives back in m hometown of Las Vegas and she was asking me how the sale went and if I needed help. Minutes later she booked a plane ticket to come help me. Ashleigh and I grew so much as friends by then making it a tradition every year since to have her fly out every year and help me for the sale. This year, because of COVID, she won’t be able to join. But luckily we will have other excuses to spend time together, since we are BFFFFFF! And I will have hired help for the fulfilling of orders to make sure we get out the art to you all as swiftly as possible!!

So make sure to mark your calendars for Tuesday, June 23rd for my Final Flash Sale in my Etsy shop!!! Here are some FAQ’s about the sale and why I am closing my Etsy shop after 2020:

1. My Etsy shop has long served me as the platform for my direct-to-customer sales. It also is the place I have been able to create personal work and have your PROFOUND support on! However, as I am growing as an artist and where I am at in my career I feel it is time to let go of my Etsy shop and embrace change to move forward. I have outgrown the platform, and I need to respect myself and honor the new change I am making. I will have a new shop built into my website, where my goal is to slow down and create larger, original works of art and only offer limited edition, signed/numbered prints. Elevating how I create and sell. The way I have been selling will no longer serve me and my energy. So that’s it in a nutshell!

2. The Flash Sale will include the new original paintings you have seen on Instagram, as well as prints and digital downloads at 50% off! At MIDNIGHT EST on June 23rd the coupon code goes into effect, which I will also announce on my Instagram to start the sale. So be sure if you want any of the originals to put a reminder on your phone. The first hour of the sale is always the busiest and originals go fast!

3. The sale ends in 24 hours. So grab what you love. As I will be retiring most of my prints after 2020. Yes, that’s also a huge thing for me to do. Change is not easy…but I believe it’s all serving me in my next step forward with new dreams and hopes.

Porch Party, one of the new original paintings for next weeks’ Flash Sale!

4. I want to thank each and everyone of you who have supported me in my Etsy shop over the years. It is hard to express in words and to fully even process what this has done for my life. I always hope that through what I do, that I can INSPIRE you to go for your dreams. Remember this when you start comparing your start to someone’s decade long successes….I AM JUST LIKE YOU. I knew NO ONE. I was not highly connected. I had about $100 to spend on art supplies when I started making work for my shop. I had rejections, failures and still do. Just remember to stick with it because art is a form of healing, self-love and self-belief and that you have the power to change your life. Don’t wait for someone to tell you you’re good enough, or talented or worthy enough. You are. And once you figure that out without anyone telling you so…YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

I love you all, and can’t wait for Tuesday!!! xoxo

Jess

Hang Tight

Wow, it’s been a minute since I have had time to sit down, and feel in the right headspace to write a blog post.

2020. The year that has felt like whiplash. A year where I hope a more united front as well as more empathy and love will be felt worldwide. It is a year and a time none of us will ever forget. I have trusted the whole time, that during this period of struggle, heartache, grieving, uncertainty, and fear would also provide us with changes that we have inevitably needed for quite a long time. Changes that will make us more loving, patient, and grateful. It is often only when things are taken away from us, that we see how blessed we have been. The universal gratitude and awareness of being present is a huge gift. And for those who are able to have spent more time with loved ones, it’s easy to see that that time may never be given to us again.

I spent most of the quarantine balancing being active, meditating, chatting with friends and trying to be productive on personal artwork that I felt inspired to do. As well as teaching a free online workshop. I had hopes I could do some good with this time to spread more of the creativity of healing into the lives of those who were searching for it. I also had freelance commercial work. It was a bit harder to be inspired on that front, as everything was so up in the air constantly. And I was seeing that the constant work work work attitude would push me to burn out faster if I was not careful. I think as an artist so often when I am truly inspired I play off that high energy, or the rich, emotions I am feeling and I get the paint out and go for it. And when I am not inspired I do my best to step away and take a nap, go for a walk or take a long bubble bath.

Self Isolation, mixed media on canvas paper.

Even with all that balance I was trying to have it seemed inevitable that working for 3 months without any real vacation or excuse to take a solid break and put boundaries in place would catch up to me. And let’s face it I have been working non-stop for over a year with little to no vacation except the holiday season. So these last few weeks I have made a concerted effort to sleep in a little later, take naps, go on longer walks and lay out in the park. Just do things that I know give me time and space to be quiet and heal.

It seems as though the energy in the world is overall very sad, and lost. And rightfully so. My heart aches for those who are hurting. It’s hard because I am not one to take in every energy I see as I am a HUGE EMPATH so I have had to create my own force field of energy. To keep me centered and able to help others through my art and my character.

All that being said, we are all doing our best to make sense of this. Whether you have found yourself depleted of energy and not able to get out of bed, or you are being super productive and creative…we all understand. And I think everyone has done a really good job of getting through this. Progress is being made. People are using their voice and platforms more than ever. I will always choose to focus on the good. Because it feels better for my mental health, and I prefer to be hopeful and do what I can to share the best art I can to help myself heal, as well as others.

Below are some of the artworks I have created during this time. It started with a self-isolation series, to then me longing for summery days at the beach, to now more African American inspired artworks. My art has always been like an open diary and reflects my mood or current experience. And I think now, I have an audience that understands that more than ever, and for that I am GRATEFUL.

Sunshine on my Shoulders, mixed media on paper.

Sunshine Ahead, mixed media on canvas paper.

Contemplating Summer, mixed media on canvas paper.

Hang Tight, mixed media on canvas paper.

Swimming in Serenity, mixed media on canvas paper.

Beach Bumming, mixed media on canvas paper.

All Wrapped Up, mixed media on canvas paper.

Looking for Hope, mixed media on canvas paper.

Exciting Updates for 2020

I don’t know about you but 2019 ended so quickly, and 2020 for me has felt much busier than I had anticipated. I’ve been recharging the last few days and it feels timely to share some exciting updates for the year with you all.

At the end of 2020 I had the remarkable experience of meeting an idol of mine, Sara Blakely as I was given the opportunity to live illustrate at the Spanx’s holiday party. (That deserves a post in its own right). But in a nutshell…it felt like an out of body experience for me. And the next week I found out I won the Spanx’s Illuminate Her Art contest!! Meaning, my art will be going onto Spanx products in Fall 2020!! Crazy, right?! I am so so thrilled, and cannot wait to share with you all what we are creating together later this year. I am constantly inspired by Sara’s Self-Made, Female-Empowering mission. If you have not listened to her talk about her journey to create Spanx-on the podcast, How I Built This by Guy Raz-do yourself a favor and give it a listen. You will get goosebumps!! When I met Sara, she was filming a story of me painting-so I’m still trying to wrap my head around that moment. I was just a girl who wanted to be an illustrator-and everyday I try to remind others that we all start from zero. And it’s our passion, dedication and self-belief that gets us to see dreams play out like this.
I am grateful that Spanx will be shedding a light on what I am doing with my art but more importantly the message of motivation, self-love and positivity I am trying to put out in the world. I have been sharing more motivational blurbs on my IG (very stream of consciousness for me) and the reaction I am getting is INCREDIBLE. So be on the lookout for more. As I feel, this is a huge part of the next chapter of my career. Helping others see they are worthy of their dreams. And I thank Spanx for bringing this incredible energy and “illumination” to the work I am dedicated to.
I finished illustrating a book, that I am so excited about! It will be debuting in the Fall as well!! I can’t reveal much-but I will say it’s all about Parisian style-one of my favorite subjects!! I cannot wait for this book to hit shelves and share it with you. It has been an incredible experience and felt like the most natural fit.
I also have created a special design for Talbots scarves, coming to stores this Fall! I love what we made, and it will be so fun to see my art on a silk scarf! :)

The Power I found in Meditation in 2019 & My tips on practicing Meditation

2019 was a crazy year for me. I honestly don’t remember much of what happened before April.

The start of April was when I went to the hospital and spent the next 4 weeks in and out of the hospital as they ran numerous tests before finding a tumor in my small intestines. It felt almost as if, the surgery date became my own new start to the year. Day 1. April 29th, 2019. A new day, of not knowing what would come after. Acceptance. Waiting to find out if I had cancer or not. That is an indescribable place to be. And then finding out I had a clean bill of health, the surge of gratitude and relief that pumps through your blood is unlike anything else I have felt. It’s a lot to process, and often it can make you want to isolate yourself from others feeling as though they may not understand the trauma you have just lived through.

Luckily, I was born with a mind that always sees the glass half full. But I would also describe myself as an realistic optimist. And I knew moving forward throughout the rest of 2019 would be about learning how to manage anxiety, stress and balancing work in a way that would not set me back. To me, I knew that what mattered more than anything else was feeling good in my body and mind. Finding peace in my daily life. So a lot of 2019 was about really delving into meditation practices. Meditation got me through the times when I was awaiting pathology results. Meditation got me through the dark moments of life in and outside of the hospital. The rest of the year, I was ready to slowly but surely find a way to paint the visuals I would use in meditation.

Let me break it down in simple terms for those who feel they do not understand meditation, or don’t think it will work for them because they don’t know how to quiet their mind or sit still. There is no specific way to practice meditation. So don’t box yourself into thinking it’s just you sitting there for 30 minutes and not allowed to think about anything. For me, I have found that although meditation does require you to be still it doesn’t have to be this rigid, torturous thing. It can be one of the most relaxing things you can do. And in fact, whenever I have done it I almost didn’t want to break from it, because it began to feel like I was in another realm full of peace, safety, acceptance and love. Meditation can truly get you into a deeper sense of yourself and your connection to a higher power. Whatever that power may be, that is for you and you alone to decide.

Here is how I have started to implement meditation into my life. Maybe it will help you. I find that after a yoga session is a great time to transition to it. Or after a heartfelt prayer, a long walk outside, a hot bath or writing in my journal. Meaning, it’s a good idea to have a relaxing, peaceful exercise to already slow down your heart rate and allow you to transition to a peaceful meditation.

Then create a very comfortable and serene ambiance. Light a few candles, put on a soft, quiet playlist with meditation music playlist (youtube has very specific ones you can listen to for hours that I like) Try to keep the light warm, and soft. Wear very soft, comfortable clothes-nothing too close to your body that feels restrictive. The goal is to act like you’re walking into your own spa! It truly can feel like a form of self-care like no other. Then lay flat on the ground preferably with your favorite pillow. Then spend a few minutes taking in deep, slow breaths. Don’t rush this part. Focus on the fact that you are breathing and it feels good to you. Every breath you take in, let it fill your body with good, healthy thoughts. And each exhale, let any negative stress or tension be released with it. Notice where you are holding tension, and release it. I hold mine in my jaw, so I try to soften all the muscles there and release the clench I hold onto unintentionally.

My meditation became about visualizing my body being healthy. I would imagine flowers, in soft transparent colors floating inside my body and mind. I would think about them flourishing in the areas that now had scars. I would imagine the love that I felt from others in my life would come into my mind and body and recharge me in a way that other things could not. From my head to toe I would scan my body and remind myself of every good thing each of my body parts has done and given to me abundantly. Fill your mind with gratitude for every area of your body that has served you well. Respect it. Thank it. Odds are your body has been good to you despite you occasionally mistreating it, or taking for granted for the miraculous machine it is in your life. And your body will take in what you feed it. Mentally more so than you can possibly fathom. So feed it with grateful, beautiful, positive thoughts.

I think the point is, there is no specific right or wrong way to meditate. It’s really about slowing down, and tuning into your body and spirit and letting go of your stress, anxiety and fears. It’s a time to be grateful. Even for something as small as breathing in and out. Even 10 minutes can feel amazing. (Think of all the wasted time we spend scrolling for 10 minutes or more, when we could be easily doing something better for our mental health.) And I love that you can truly do it any time of day or night. IT’S FREE for crying out loud! haha. Before bed or early morning are really great times to utilize it. And there are some guided meditations I found in Ask and it is Given, by Jerry & Esther Hicks that I love and would highly recommend. I found it has really help me combat bouts of PTSD. When I feel super stressed out, I will immediately drop everything I am doing, go on a walk without my phone and come back and do a yoga and mediation session. It just feels like a tool we can all step into more. Meditation feels like the exact type of healing I have been looking to have in my life. I of course love my Doctors, and doing ALL THE THINGS to keep me balanced and healthy. But I had no idea how much meditation would become a part of my life and make me feel so much more peace and gratitude. Being grateful even when I was sick, was hard but when I got to that headspace my life became infinitely better.

Sending you the best wishes to 2020! I hope this inspires you to take a few minutes and try it out for yourself. Would love to hear your feedback :)

My Simple Guide of Resources for Artist's

I have created this post in response to the numerous emails, DM’s and questions I get on a regular basis. In fact, I want my entire blog to be a resource for creatives and I hope you can utilize and feel inspired and empowered by what I share in this space.

One of the most common questions I get is how I have been able to have monetary success with my artwork. I have written a few posts on this very subject. Read this post on my Etsy shop success:

http://jessicadurrant.com/blog/2019/3/18/from-1-etsy-shop-sale-to-10000-lets-talk-about-the-in-between

2. I offer mentoring to those who wish to have more personalized direction, guidance and advice. I have been using Rookie Up! as the platform to schedule and facilitate these sessions, and it’s truly been lovely to meet artist’s around the world! To book your own personalized mentoring session, click link below:

https://www.rookieup.com/jessicadurrant/

3. I get a lot of questions about how I can create full time. But I rarely get asked, how did I improve my art over the years? I think it is vital for artist’s to FOCUS ON THE ARTWORK. Then the money will come. I think so many get trapped in thinking about the money first. My philosophy is you must be in this to make great work. If you cannot live without creating, then you already are on the right path! Because no matter the hardships, you still NEED TO CREATE. So take a look at this other blog post I wrote about how I got into a rhythm of creating non-stop to improve my skills and my work.

http://jessicadurrant.com/blog/2019/2/26/my-practical-advice-for-creative-dreamers

4. And please, please please READ THIS BOOK! The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a life changing book for any person, and especially any creative dreamer. This is the reason why I am successful, and work with the largest brands in the world. Positive thinking, daily affirmations and visualizations are what I practice daily to manifest my dreams. Here is a link for the book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/0143129252/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1Q8EQP96M5Z70&keywords=the+artist+way+by+julia+cameron&qid=1565270996&s=gateway&sprefix=the+artist%2Caps%2C184&sr=8-2

5. I was recently interviewed for a podcast with Let’s Highlight Real. The whole podcast is perfect for creatives. The podcast interviews professionals who talk about the ups, downs and failures & successes in such a down to earth, relaxed and touching way. Podcasts in my opinion are such an amazing resource, and they are FREE! So no excuses, go listen to a slew of these. Mine is episode 3:

https://www.letshighlightreal.com/2019/04/01/episode-03-how-to-push-and-evolve-your-style-with-jessica-durrant/

6. I have been working on my own art book, full of the inspiring stories behind my favorite art pieces over the last decade. The 100 limited edition books have sold out, but I am working on making a PDF version in September and a 2nd edition next year. For many of you, you have already seen the sneak peeks of the book on my Instagram. I cannot wait to have these books shipped out this month! If you would like to be included in the next edition, or want a PDF version please fill out a contact form right here on the website :)

7. If you are an illustrator or want to become one, there is a guidebook for pricing jobs, quoting, and contracts. This is an amazing tool! Purchase the latest edition on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Graphic-Artists-Guild-Handbook-Guidelines/dp/1507206682/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=illustrators+guide+to+ethical+pricing&qid=1565271556&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Thank you for all your support! I hope these resources will help you, and perhaps shed some light and inspire you in new ways!

Jess

From my Tumor to an Artist in Residency in Bermuda

The last time I wrote a blog post, everything in my life changed. And quite quickly.

It was just another normal morning for me, but I remember feeling like I needed to take the week off. I had just finished teaching a successful workshop that weekend and I gave so much energy to it. I am an empath, meaning I can easily feel, read and absorb other people’s emotions. I am trying to get better about handling it, although it is something I feel more and more the older I get. I have a tendency to attract people who need to be uplifted and loved, and I feel it is a huge gift for me when I am able to give words of encouragement to those that I meet.

Bermuda Heals. A new watercolor study from yesterday.

Needless to say, I knew I needed to take a break. I had just had some incredible things happening with my work. (See last post) But basically the artwork at IKEA had already broke the records in 2 quarters for the sales we predicted for the entire year. I was also preparing for an artist in residency in Bermuda for the end of the next month with Hamilton Princess, and my artwork would be in June’s British Vogue and I was literally finalizing the proof they wrote about me that morning. I almost felt…like I could not process all of it.

It was around 12:30 in the afternoon when everything changed. I went to the bathroom and saw that I had passed blood. I didn’t want to freak out, but I knew what it meant. As some of you know, in 2016 I suffered a blood clot in my lungs as well as a GI bleed that we never really found out the direct cause of. So I instantly was transported back to a very scary time in my life. I wanted to remain calm and not assume the worst. But somehow what I have learned in these experiences is…there is a difference between anxiety and really knowing when something is wrong. You usually know it in your gut. And for me…that is how I literally felt. I knew it was going to take time to find out what was wrong even before the 1st test. I had to go in knowing, that whatever was coming my way I was prepared for. And accepting this whole experience would make my life easier.

I’ll spare you a long lengthy story, and pretty dark details here, but we went to the ER and I proceeded to lose about half my blood in the space of 24 hours while we awaited various test results. Test after test, day after day I was so blessed to have the support of Brandon, my in-laws, Michelle Armas my best friend here in Georgia, and so many countless others who sent me messages from near and far. My Instagram is like my family, so feeling that rally of support was so vital for me. I received 3 blood transfusions, but I knew I still had lost a lot of energy that I would need to gain back at home in time. Finally some results came in through a pill cam test, they spotted a “nodule” in my small intestines and some ulcers. They needed to biopsy the nodule so I had to schedule that out for about a week away. I went home, still at risk to bleed at any time. So what did I do….I watched about 3 seasons of Golden Girls, ate what the doctors suggested and did a little bit of walking everyday to rebuild the energy I lost from being in the hospital and becoming anemic.

Being at home, not knowing if you have something very seriously wrong with you, is one of the hardest places to be. You live in your head, and it can take you to dark places. The easiest thing for me to do was to take a deep breath, and say “You are OKAY RIGHT NOW. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Right now you are healthy enough to walk, talk, eat, laugh and be still.” I began implementing some seriously deep meditation and healing mantras into my routine. I purposely didn’t paint, as I didn’t want to do anything that might make me feel critical of myself. I needed to only let in GOODNESS and LIGHT. I was working on being very very gentle and kind to myself. Soon enough I had another test to get that biopsy, and when I awoke the Dr. told me it was a tumor the size of a golf ball and they did not biopsy it because it could likely start bleeding again if they did.

I screen-capped so many messages from people around the world who were sending me SO MUCH LOVE and healing vibes. THANK YOU!

The Dr. immediately recommended me to a surgeon who specializes in minimally invasive surgeries for my situation. 2 days later I was seeing Dr. Thomas Wood and he immediately made me feel relief. He seemed so confident, direct and made me feel at ease. He suspected that what I had was a GIST. And that we needed to get it out quickly and biopsy the lymph-nodes around it. He told me if it was cancer, the cancer in this situation is very rare, and that there are now pills that liquify tumors in the small intestines. It was a lot to take in. And it was so hard to wait. I prayed that they could get me in ASAP for the surgery. And they did! Monday morning 7:30AM and I WAS READY TO ROLL!!

I had a comfortable weekend at home before the surgery, and had to once again focus on the fact that I wasn’t bleeding and I was okay now. I surrendered to it all…I thought about every outcome and I accepted it. And let me tell you…that is no easy feat. But my personality has always been that way. I trusted that this experience was here to teach me something. To guide me down a new road. That perhaps I needed this to show me, once again, that life is fragile and I know I am here to do great, beautiful things. And every day should be one that I focus on putting goodness and love out there. I also focused on the fact that for 37 years 98% of the time I have been here, in this body I have been heathy and pain free. And I knew my body was ready to fight for me. I knew it wanted to heal quickly. It was here to show me something.

Surgery was successful, but we still had to wait 4 loooong days while I was under close watch at the hospital to find out my results. Oddly enough, I felt calm. Because I knew the tumor was gone. And I knew that I was in GOOD HANDS. From family, doctors, nurses, even the food service ladies who I bonded with…all made me feel like I was going to be okay. Thursday morning my Dr. came in and told me that none of the lymph nodes had cancer in them. And he told me, what I had is so rare that it’s like getting struck by lightning and it’s not genetic either. He told me I should expect to be back to normal in a couple weeks, and that I should be fine to travel to Bermuda. I’m going to follow up with my blood specialist, and GI doctors to make sure that I am on top of my health. Because of my last incident, I learned so much about my blood and my body that I felt empowered going into this situation. So I know now, it’s my responsibility to continue to take the time to be on top of regular visits, and continuing to find peace in the now.

I came home, and it felt like a miracle. Every day I could walk a little more. Every day I felt more energy coming to me. I also lost weight and was happy to get to eat 2 hamburgers in one day on brioche buns babyyyyy!! Everyday I felt less pain. And every day I felt so much closer to my God, my family, my friends and my SPIRIT. I’m still wrapping my head around this. I know I will suffer from bouts of PTSD from this. And it’s okay. Meditating and creating healthy mind set mantras that connect me to my inner most self have brought me so much comfort.

I set my screensaver at the hospital to a photo just like this of Bermuda. Then I took this one myself and have already used it for paintings. I focused so hard on being on those pink sand beaches and feeling healthy!

And then came Bermuda….we left exactly 3 weeks after my surgery. A 2.5 hour flight and we had made to to PARADISE!!! I want to create a separate post about it all. But for now, I’ll share some photos. Thank you to Hamilton Princess for giving me this gift. I trusted the timing in all this. That is exactly what I needed to experience play by play. Thank you to Madison for booking and hosting us! And thank you to an organization that INVESTS in artist’s. I felt pampered. Truly! And being near those healing ocean waters was the BEST THING EVER! I also got to teach a watercolor class at a local middle school. And one student in particular really touched my heart. Destiny suffers from hand tremors and she was afraid to paint because she thought it would be messy. As I reached over to help guide her hands, I told her, “You can paint outside the lines and make drips and splatters because I do it all the time! It makes it beautiful!” She proceeded to get the biggest smile on her face and told me how much she loved her painting and gave me numerous hugs. THAT MOMENT WAS WORTH THE ENTIRE TRIP TO BERMUDA!!

Sweetest Destiny, I will never forget that small and powerful moment we shared.

I could go on and on, but let’s leave it at that for now. My blog is truly here as an open diary and it’s far from perfect but it’s my truth. And I hope in sharing this with you you feel uplifted and peaceful. I can’t wait to create artwork based off all these experiences. I’m grateful for it all. The tumor. The scary moments. Because without those moments maybe I would not be as thankful for the light, grace and goodness and mercy God and everyone here has given me. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Bermuda Flowers added to represent healing that happening inside my core.

Lookout Point, one of my favorite spots.

I hand painted Bermuda flowers on one of the coffee cups at the hotel :)

My painting desk on our balcony at the hotel!

I’ll never forget these last few months.

6 Exciting Announcements

It feels like I have so much good news to share, my little heart could burst!!! Everything is beginning to feel quite surreal for me lately. And I cannot believe some of the things I am typing are really happening!!

I can now officially announce that my artwork is in IKEA globally for sale! This is the 1st of 2 pieces that IKEA has picked up for sale for the next 5 years :) The 2nd piece will be debuting in the Summer of 2019 and I will announce that one at that time. And the sales are already doing amazingly well for my 1st piece and surpassing market predictions! I have definitely been doing lots of happy dances around our home. Here is the link to the US website with the artwork in it’s 2 pack: https://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70438106/

My painting, Blue Girl comes in a 2 pack with another artist, Susan Kane’s work. Don’t they look so moody and sophisticated together?

2. My work will be published in British Vogue this Summer!!! Coming June, July and August 2019 I will have my artwork in the magazine of all magazines for me! I cannot wait to get my hands on an issue. This is a HUGE dream of mine-to have my work in a magazine that has allowed me to dream since the day I picked up my first copy at 13. More on that to come!!

3. I will be doing an artist in residency program next month, in Bermuda!!! Coming late May, I’ll be traveling to Bermuda for the dreamiest artist in residency program, with Hamilton Princess! More details to come next month. I CANNOT WAIT.

Blue Girl, one of my personal favorite paintings now in IKEA!! I have a great story about getting my work into IKEA and this painting. It will be shared in my upcoming book!!

4. I’m currently creating my Art Coffee Table Book!! I had so much great feedback and interest when I talked about this dream of mine on Instagram last year. SO NOW IS THE TIME. I feel so inspired and ready to make my dream book a reality. I am creating a book full of my favorite paintings, and the inspiring stories behind them. There will be only 100 limited edition copies made. If you want to be on the wait list, please email me at jessillustration@gmail.com The Books will be shipping this Summer-and each one will be signed, numbered and dated. I believe so strongly in this book, so thank you for those who have already reserved their copy. It means the world to me.

5. And I’m still soooooo thankful to see my work in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 2. I keep watching the Paris episodes that my work is in…and just crying in happiness. You can find out more about that-in a previous blog post: http://jessicadurrant.com/blog/2018/12/18/the-marvelous-art-of-being-you

It kinda feels amazing to write down what I am thankful for. It is a great reminder for me to live and revel in the present!! And I encourage you to do the same. Remember what you now have-was more than likely what you dreamed about a few years ago. And just live in this sweet moment of thankfulness. It feels so darn good to do that.

6.Also, if you haven’t listened to the new podcast for creatives, Highlight Real, do so! My episode, is the 3rd one and you can give it a listen here for more of my story and what keeps me inspired and resilient:

https://www.letshighlightreal.com/2019/04/01/episode-03-how-to-push-and-evolve-your-style-with-jessica-durrant/

Please let me know what you think of the podcast, and subscribe to the podcast!!

Sending you all my best from Atlanta xox